


Please Give Me Your Hand

by notgonslave (wedontslave)



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Future Fic, Married Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26251228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wedontslave/pseuds/notgonslave
Summary: Brittany comes home late again to find Santana leaving.
Relationships: Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Comments: 24
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is angst. If you are here looking for fluff that I usually write, you have come to the wrong place.**

** Chapter 1 **

Brittany wiped some sweat from her forehead as she thanked the taxi driver, paying him the correct amount and leaving the vehicle. Her hair was a little tousled, and she was still a little out of breath, but she didn’t really care right now. Hastily, she put her bag around her shoulders and watched the taxi drive off, watching it become smaller and smaller until it turned the corner and disappeared. She looked at her watch and sighed, clenching her eyes shut. It was already ten-thirty at night. She had promised her wife, Santana, that she would try and be home for dinner, but she got caught up at work and couldn’t return home on time.

It was true: dance practice overran and then she had to go run some errands. It was a little sad, but Brittany got so caught up in what she was doing that time kind of slipped by. She had forgotten that she had to go home early to have dinner with her wife.

It didn’t help that her phone was completely dead either. During the whole cab ride home, she was a little panicked and wanted to apologise to Santana about being late again, only to find that her phone ran out of battery. This meant that she had no form of contact with her wife, and she couldn’t see if Santana had sent her any messages or if she had any missed calls.

God, Santana was going to be so mad at her. This was a repeated offense on Brittany’s behalf. Over the past month or so, Brittany had been returning later and later, very occasionally staying the night because Brittany was too tired to go home. The mornings after were the worst. She would rush home, and Santana would be so angry at her. Santana was scary when she was angry. While the brunette had never hit Brittany before, sometimes Santana’s vicious words cut deep and Brittany really didn’t like it.

She was just hoping against hope that Santana would forgive her just this one more time. After all, the happiness that would come when Brittany finally finishes her errand will be worth all the pain, anger and suffering that the couple is suffering right now.

Needless to say, this marriage is getting rockier and rockier with each passing day. Brittany really hoped that they could hold on just a little longer. Then everything would be okay again.

Please, Santana, forgive me one more time. Please, just give me your hand and I promise that everything will be okay.

Brittany nearly sprinted towards their apartment. She wrenched open the door and debated whether or not to take the elevator. She decided against it; it takes too long. She ran up three flights of stairs, and skidded to a halt right in front of their apartment door. With trembling fingers, she fumbled for the key and she opened the door. Tentatively, she peeked a head inside. All the lights were off. Was Santana asleep? This would be a good thing because then Brittany could wash all the scents off her body and join her wife in bed, and either snuggle up to her or give her sweet kisses as her form of apology. Santana would forget her anger momentarily as their tongues curled around each other’s.

Oh, who was Brittany kidding? They were barely kissing with tongue anymore. They were pecking at most.

Brittany cautiously walked past some doors and found that the light to the dining room was on. The door was closed, however. She put a tentative hand on the handle and turned, walking slowly inside.

“I’ve been waiting for you, Brittany Pierce-Lopez,” the stern voice met her ears instantly.

Brittany guiltily cast her eyes on her wife sitting on a chair at the table, who looked beyond livid. This was what was so scary about Santana when she was mad. She doesn’t raise her voice. She would speak eerily calmly, a little like the calm before a storm. To a stranger, Santana would not seem mad at all. But after all these years of knowing and loving Santana, Brittany could read Santana’s expressions like a book. Santana’s fiery, penetrating eyes, her tightly drawn lips, yep, she was extremely angry. Especially accompanied with the fact that Santana was using Brittany’s full name. Brittany was in trouble.

“L-Look,” Brittany set down her bag by her feet and put both her hands in front of her. “I can explain.”

Santana chuckled mirthlessly. “There’s no need,” she said evenly. “You’ve made me wait for,” she looked at the clock. “What, four hours? Oh, by the way, here’s your food. It’s cold now, do you want me to microwave it for you?”

“Please,” Brittany whispered, a tear escaping her lashes. “I promise I won’t be late again, I promise!”

Santana cocked her head to her side slowly and gave a bone-chilling grin. “That’s what you say all the time,” Santana said. “Look at yourself. Your appearance explains everything. Messed up hair, a little sweaty and a little out of breath, and, oh, what is that?” Santana sniffed the air. “Is that cologne I smell?”

“I-I know what this looks like,” Brittany stammered desperately. “B-But I swear it on my life that I haven’t been sneaking around!”

“So why are you late home then?” Santana asked.

Brittany closed her eyes. “I-I can’t tell you, I’m so sorry,” Brittany whispered.

Santana’s stoic demeanour faded and is replaced by scary Santana on a whole other level that Brittany had only seen a handful of times, but was never directed towards her.

Santana slammed a fist on the table. “For fuck’s sake, Brittany, when are you going to stop with the lies?” Santana demanded. “Tell me, Brittany, who is it this time?”

“T-This time?” Brittany gasped.

“Don’t play dumb, Brittany Pierce-Lopez, it’s not like you haven’t been late EVERY DAY OF THIS WHOLE FUCKING MONTH!” Santana screamed the last part. She took a deep breath and composed herself. “You don’t even come home some nights. You leave me cold in my bed. Who is it this time?”

“I promise,” Brittany wheezed, a few more tears leaving her eyes. “I’m not cheating on you! I promise! Please believe me! Please?”

“No,” Santana shook her head. “No, I won’t put up with this anymore, Brittany. I’m leaving.”

“W-What?” Brittany gasped.

“You heard me. I’m leaving.” Santana walked towards the corner of the room and grabbed a few duffle bags and a suitcase.

Brittany’s blood ran cold. No. This was not what she wanted. Not at all.

“N-No,” Brittany sobbed. “P-Please, just believe me. I won’t come home late if that’s what you want, I promise!”

“Your promises mean nothing to me anymore,” Santana said coldly, grip tightening on the handle of her suitcase. “You don’t tell me what you’re doing, you don’t call me, you don’t reply to my texts, you don’t do shit to save this marriage!”

“Please, my phone was dead today,” Brittany wept. “Believe me, I beg!”

“No.” Santana’s answer was short and curt, and she barged past Brittany, suitcase in tow, duffle bags in her hand.

“No, Santana, please!” Brittany put a hand on Santana’s shoulder.

Santana whipped around, meeting Brittany’s eyes with a look in her eyes that Brittany had never seen directed to her before. It was truly terrifying.

“Don’t touch me,” Santana warned. “Or I might do something I regret.”

Reluctantly, Brittany let go of Santana’s shoulder. “P-Please don’t go?” she blubbered. “I love you, Santana, please! I beg you! J-Just give me one more chance! Please?”

“You don’t love me,” Santana said coldly. “You wouldn’t go around sleeping with guys from your studio if you did. Who knows, maybe you slept with the ladies too. I don’t even care anymore. I’m leaving.” Santana continued to tug her belongings towards the front door.

“I promise you I haven’t been cheating on you!” Brittany pleaded, tears rapidly streaming down her eyes. “Please believe me! I love you, and you only!”

“Huh, good joke, Brittany.” With that, Santana opened the door and strode outside, walking briskly down the corridor, suitcase following in her wake.

Brittany stood there stunned for a few seconds before she jolted to her senses and started to chase after the brunette.

Brittany reached Santana just as the elevator doors were closing. She desperately clawed around the doors and gripped the elevator door, keeping it open momentarily. “Please, just let me explain myself,” Brittany begged. “I’ll explain everything.”

“I’m sure you will Brittany, but I just won’t believe you,” Santana replied. “So don’t even bother.” Santana pushed Brittany’s hand away from the door, letting it slide closed.

Brittany saw the elevator doors close and her heart clenched with hurt, but she wouldn’t give up just yet. She sprinted down the stairs, as fast as she could without tripping.

She managed to outpace the elevator, so when the elevator doors opened, Santana was met with the sight of Brittany again.

“Please don’t do this, Santana,” Brittany put a hand gently on Santana’s hand, closing her eyes which squeezed even more tears out. “Please, we can talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you,” Santana said. “Let me go.”

Brittany shook her head. “No, Santana. I’m not letting go of you. I love you.”

“I said let me go,” Santana said, with a little more bite now.

Brittany shook her head again. “Please –”

“LET ME GO!” Santana screamed, pushing Brittany harshly away. She took a few deep breaths, then she dragged her suitcase, briskly walking out the door and towards her car.

Brittany ran after her. “Santana, n-no, please don’t do this to me,” she whimpered. “D-Don’t do this to me, please, I beg…”

Santana looked at the woman that she had loved for so long before her. Her heart hurt a little at the sight: Brittany’s tear-stained cheeks, slightly slouched posture which contrasted her normally pristine posture, her body constantly trembling due to her waterworks. But she had had enough. This was the final straw. Santana had planned an extravagant dinner for the two of them as an attempt to save their marriage. She had it all done, the candles, the bottle of wine, she even spent a whole hour conjuring up a meal for the two of them. And how did Brittany repay her? Making her wait for so long that the food went cold. Making the candle go out. No. Santana is not putting herself through any more of this. She needed time away from Brittany. She didn’t know what leaving would mean for their marriage, but honestly, she didn’t care anymore. Marriage is meant to mean forever.

But really, it is just a document, a piece of paper.

“You did this to us, Brittany,” Santana growled. “I’m leaving,” Santana said firmly throwing her stuff into the trunk and opening the door, getting in the driver’s seat. Before Brittany could get in or even get a hand in to stop the Latina, the door was slammed shut and Santana instantly locked the doors.

“N-no! Santana, I beg you –”

“I’m leaving,” Santana said again.

“W-Where are you going?” Brittany asked frantically. “I-I promise you –”

“Away from you,” Santana said darkly. “And don’t bother making promises you can’t keep.” With that, she started the engine.

Brittany desperately patted the side windows of the car, but Santana paid her no mind. She turned on the radio to max volume and started to back from the driveway. The music blocked out Brittany’s screams and pleas. When the car was on the road, Santana pressed her foot down on the pedal and the car started to speed away.

Brittany ran after the car, trying to catch up with it and miraculously stop Santana, but eventually, the car got a little too fast for her. She watched in despair as the car turned the corner and it was gone.

Brittany didn’t care how dirty the floor was. She felt as if her heart had been ripped into two parts, then stamped upon, then torn into four. She crumpled to the ground and started to sob uncontrollably.

**AN: Things will get better for these girls, I promise, if this is going to be a multi-chapter fic. I’ve got the plot planned out.**


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter 2 **

Brittany didn’t know how much time passed, just her lying on the dirty floor in the middle of the road. She was vaguely aware of the soft pellet of raindrops falling on her face, but she didn’t really care. The ground was a bit wet, which meant that her clothes were getting dirty as well, but Brittany didn’t really care about that either.

She felt exhausted. She had a really long day, she was tired already, and coming home to Santana leaving just shattered her. Brittany closed her eyes and rested her head against the wet concrete floor, feeling the dampness seep into her hair, a lot of which was in her face but Brittany didn’t attempt to get it out of her face.

She no longer had any energy to cry, so she was just lying there, feeling empty until she felt headlights on her.

For a short while, she didn’t really care if a car ran her over, but then she thought about how Santana would feel if that happened so she attempted to get up from her rather uncomfortable position on the floor.

She turned her head towards the lights, and watched in horror as a car sped towards her, getting closer… closer…

A loud screeching sound could be heard as the driver of the car slammed on the brakes upon seeing a woman sprawled on the floor in the middle of the road. The car skidded to a halt a few meters from Brittany, and the driver got out hastily.

“Brittany?” a neighbour of Brittany’s, who lived on the floor above her asked. “What are you doing? I nearly ran you over! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Penelope,” Brittany grumbled, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Her hands were a little muddy, so Brittany winced as her eyes felt the intrusion of foreign objects.

The middle-aged woman waded her way to Brittany rapidly and helped her up. “You don’t look fine to me,” Penelope said worriedly. “Do you need help or something?”

“No,” Brittany sniffed, wiping at her wet face with her sleeve. “I’ll be fine, I promise. Thanks Penny.”

“Okay,” Penelope still looked a little worried. “Well, how about you wait while I park my car and I can walk you home, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Brittany mumbled. Penelope gave her a tight smile and walked back towards her car.

Brittany watched her neighbour turn her car and park in the driveway, feeling the tears pool in her eyes again as she recalled what happened with her wife a while ago.

XxX

Santana’s fingers were white as she gripped the steering wheel hard. By now, she was on the motorway, and she had turned the radio off a while ago. She wasn’t really in the mood for any music. She wasn’t really in the mood for anything.

She didn’t really know where she was going either. She was just driving aimlessly, using up all her petrol. She didn’t really care though. She’ll probably drive and drive until she gets too tired to drive and then she’ll sleep in her car for the night.

She didn’t know whether or not she wanted to go back to her apartment any time soon. She didn’t really want to see Brittany. Santana didn’t want to say something or do something that she would regret in the future.

She was just so angry. She was putting in so much effort to try and keep their marriage afloat. And what was Brittany doing? Nothing. She neglects Santana most of the time, not showing up to their dinners, not showing up to their movie nights, and when she does turn up, the heavy scent of deodorant and cologne makes its way into their apartment. Santana had tried her best to convince herself that this was all a huge misunderstanding, that Brittany was not cheating on her, but what else could it be? Brittany wouldn’t tell her why she’s always late home, why she sometimes doesn’t come home at all, why she always comes home flustered and sweaty, hair messy, smelling of disgusting cologne. Sometimes she would come home smelling of some weird perfume that Santana knew she didn’t possess.

Brittany was definitely cheating on her.

The thought of anyone else’s hand touching Brittany in places where only Santana should be allowed to made Santana’s blood boil. Brittany was _hers_.

Not anymore, evidently. Not anymore. Fuck this. Santana did not want to put up with the blonde anymore. She had had enough.

Santana couldn’t remember when she last felt happy with the blonde. She tried her best to recall where it all went wrong. She was rather surprised when she couldn’t think of a moment that acted as a turning point for their marriage. It was probably more of a downward spiral kind of thing, like they were growing further and further apart. Santana guessed that she had something to do with it, too. With the stress that came with her work, she couldn’t spend as much time with her wife, and Brittany was also quite busy with her dancing gigs. She had some performances coming up in the near future, which is why she had also been working her socks off for them. This meant that they barely had any time together. That was obviously detrimental for their marriage.

That was no excuse for turning up home late, though. Dance practice ends at five for her. If it overran it wouldn’t extend beyond six. Brittany got home at ten or later every day for the past few weeks. Really, there was no excuse. Brittany initially blamed it on traffic, but how can a distance coverable by forty minutes’ walk take four hours by car? Impossible.

Santana guessed she had herself to blame as well for what their marriage was turning into. She was also neglecting Brittany before Brittany started to come home late. Brittany probably got bored of their relationship, and moved on to other things with the admittedly attractive people at her dance studio. Brittany probably took her sexual frustration on them.

Santana couldn’t remember the last time she felt truly happy. She hadn’t been intimate with Brittany at all this month. Maybe pecked her once or twice, but that was it. They hardly talk in the mornings when they wake up, they hardly see each other throughout the day. A marriage shouldn’t be like this. Nothing should be like this.

What happened to all the puppy love that the two of them experienced for so many years?

Santana looked at the time. It was a little past midnight. Had she been driving for over an hour already? It didn’t seem like that much time had passed.

Santana sighed and turned her attention back on the road. Her car was running out of gas. Well, she didn’t want to run out of gas in the middle of the motorway, so she would take the next exit and fill up her car again at the petrol station, then continue driving to her heart’s content.

Was Santana a little too harsh on Brittany? After all, Brittany had begged her repeatedly to stay and explain herself. But what could Brittany have said? What could’ve been the real reason for why Brittany was late home on a daily basis? What could get her smelling of cologne?

No. Santana was not too harsh on Brittany. Brittany had no idea what pain she put through Santana this whole time. Santana had kept her mouth shut on her suspicions about the blonde cheating for too long. She kept on giving Brittany the benefit of the doubt. No. No.

Brittany deserved it.

Santana took a shaky breath and snapped out of her thoughts. She saw a sign lit up by a dim road lamp saying that there would be a café and a petrol station about a kilometre from where she was. She needed coffee if she was going to drive any longer. After all, she still needed sleep. Lately over the past few weeks, she had been worried sick every night because Brittany had been late so often. What if Brittany was kidnapped? What if she was bleeding out on a pavement? But every time, it turned out that Santana’s worries had been for nothing. Nothing! It was emotionally exhausting, and Santana really needed a break from all of this.

She saw the exit coming up, and she switched on her directional blinker, turning off towards the petrol station.

XxX

Brittany felt a little like a zombie. She knew that she normally stood up straight, after all, posture was incredibly important for dancers like her, but she just couldn’t. It was a little strange, as standing up straight was second nature to her, it normally took no effort on her part, but right now, just standing up took a lot of effort for the blonde. Brittany gave a disjunct sigh and closed her apartment door behind her, not even bothering to lock the door.

The truth sunk in. Santana left her. Did that mean that they weren’t together anymore? Was she going to file for divorce?

Brittany let out a choked sob. This was not what Brittany wanted at all. She had a plan. A plan that she wouldn’t tell Santana at all costs. It was going to be a surprise.

Look at what that did to their marriage. Shattered it.

She probably should’ve just come clean when she still had the chance. Admit what she had been doing, what made her come home late every day.

Now Santana was never going to see her surprise.

Brittany wiped away a few more stray tears as she trudged through the apartment. She remembered when she first bought it with Santana. It was before they got married. They were so happy that they were finally able to live together. The first few weeks were the best. They could not be happier, finally getting a taste of domestic life. They would cook together, do the laundry together, cuddle whilst watching some sappy film, make love. Oh, they made love so much then. Multiple times every day. It was pure bliss for both of them.

It had been at least a month or so when Brittany last made love with Santana. Really, it was more mechanical than emotional. Santana didn’t even come.

Brittany blinked out more tears as she walked into the bathroom, stripping off her drenched, muddy clothes.

She really missed what they were before. She knew that each marriage, each relationship had its ups and downs, but she really didn’t know how she would recover from this. How could she fix their marriage, when Santana wasn’t even willing to see her, talk to her? How could she fix their marriage, when she was the one who drove Santana to leave?

Brittany stepped into the shower and let scalding water run down her naked body.

A mixture of water, tears, and hope swirled clockwise around the drain before getting sucked in.

xxx

About thirty minutes later, Brittany dried herself with her towel and put on her blue pyjamas. She guessed that she was going to sleep alone tonight. Now she knew how it felt to be the sole person in the bed made for two. There would be nobody to keep her warm at night.

She really should’ve made an effort to get home, no matter how tired she was, instead of just falling asleep there.

The apartment seemed so… lifeless. Grey. A huge contrast to a few years ago, when it seemed to be bustling with life, activity, joy.

Brittany walked into their room. Well, it seemed to be her room now. She looked through the drawers, hoping to find some socks that would keep her feet warm overnight. When she opened the drawer, however, what she saw made her start to cry again.

All of Santana’s clothes were gone. She remembered, when they first moved in, how the drawer was a bit messy, as it contained a mixture of both Brittany and Santana’s clothes just strewn around everywhere. After all, they didn’t really care whose clothes they wore. What was one’s, was the other’s, it appeared. However, a few months ago they organised everything, so that there was one side of the drawer which contained all of Brittany’s stuff, and the other side which contained all of Santana’s stuff. Initially, Brittany was against that idea, as it diminished the idea of domesticity, made them feel less intimate. Santana rebutted by saying that she wanted some sense of organisation in her life, instead of having everything messy and have intuition fuel her every decision.

Now, the drawer contained half of the clothes compared to the day before. Brittany’s side was completely untouched. Santana’s side was completely empty.

Brittany started to weep as she could no longer deny it anymore, no longer hold on to the vague hope that Santana was going to come running back into her arms and all would be good again. Santana was gone for good. Santana left her.

A few tears fell onto the empty side of the drawer where Santana’s belongings used to be. Brittany didn’t bother wiping it away. She closed the drawer and moved on, just begging, just praying that she could still find Santana’s belongings, anything, that could give her just a little bit of hope that Santana was going to come back.

She opened the closet. All of Santana’s dresses, coats, jackets, hoodies, they were gone. She flipped through countless drawers, trying to claw out anything that belonged to Santana. Her panties, lingerie, underwear, socks, all gone.

“N-No,” Brittany blubbered helplessly as she moved on, trying to find just anything that belonged to her wife.

Everything looked so bare without Santana’s belongings. It was like someone broke in and stole everything in this place.

She clawed around her bedside table. A little bit of hope sparked in her chest when she found that Santana had taken the stuffed duck that Brittany had given her when they were fifteen. This had to mean something, right? If Santana still had the stuffed duck, then she was holding a part of Brittany in her, this meant that there was a chance for them, right?

However, a horrible thought then crossed Brittany’s mind. What if Santana just threw away the duck?

Brittany closed her eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. Be optimistic, Brittany. You are an optimistic person. Hold on to hope. All will be okay, it will be fine.

She opened her eyes again and decided to open the drawer of Santana’s bedside table.

What she saw made her heart stop.

_No._

Gingerly, she reached in and retrieved the lone item that was in the drawer with two fingers.

“N-No,” Brittany sobbed as she held up the gold ring to her eyes. Santana had left her ring here. The ring that signified everlasting love. The ring that promised forever for the two girls.

Brittany remembered how she had gotten down to both knees to propose to Santana because she thought that getting down on one knee wasn’t enough. She remembered how she forgot the speech that she had memorised and repeated in her head a million times the night before, and just spoke her feelings, poured out her heart instead. She remembered how Santana cried tears of joy, letting Brittany put on the ring on Santana’s finger, kissing Brittany like there was no tomorrow. She remembered how in the following weeks how Santana would stare at the ring in awe, as if it was the most valuable item to grace the planet, constantly reminding Brittany how they were fiancées. They would giggle giddily and lock lips passionately.

They had been so silly, so lost in love.

Brittany did find something that belonged to Santana. It was just the last thing that she wanted to find.

She held the ring up close to her chest, and just collapsed onto the bed. Without even bothering to put her head on the pillow or tucking herself underneath the covers, she cried and cried until she felt too exhausted to stay awake, the ring still clasped tightly in her hand.

XxX

Santana had been driving for way too long. She was starting to feel the effects of fatigue on her. Maybe she should just stop somewhere and settle down, retiring for the night. She didn’t even know where she was. She was just letting her bruised heart take her wherever it pleased. Sighing, she dug around in her bag and retrieved her phone.

She was slightly surprised to see that she had no missed calls from Brittany. Especially after how she left the blonde. It angered the brunette even more, and she felt even more hurt. It was as if Brittany didn’t care that she left. She probably just went to her fuck-buddy’s house for the night.

Santana slammed her right hand on the steering wheel.

Fuck life. Fuck Brittany.

Breathing in deeply to calm herself down, she looked at the time. How was it already three in the morning? Time really flew when Santana was driving, she guessed. She looked at the GPS to gather where she was, and when she saw where the blue dot was on the map she made her mind up as to where to go. She was pretty close anyway, probably about twenty minutes’ drive away. She could definitely hold on for twenty more minutes.

During the drive, she let her mind wander once again. What went wrong between her and Brittany? She racked her brain to try and find what started to chip away at their marriage.

x

_“Sanny!” Brittany sang as she waded her way over to where Santana was sitting at her desk, buried in mounds of paper and a spreadsheet opened on her laptop. “Come on, stop working, it’s time to go to bed!”_

_“Britt,” Santana sighed. “I’m trying to work. Go to bed yourself and I’ll join you later, okay?”_

_“But I want my cuddles now!” Brittany whined cutely, putting a hand on Santana’s wrist and trying to drag her away from the desk._

_Santana was starting to get irritated at what she used to think was endearing behaviour from Brittany. “For god’s sake Brittany, let me work! I have to get this done!”_

_“Come on!” Brittany pouted. “You can do it tomorrow! Let’s go to bed together!”_

_For some reason, Santana’s temper suddenly exploded._

_“For heaven’s sake, Brittany, I’M WORKING!” Santana shouted. “LEAVE ME ALONE!”_

_Santana regretted shouting at Brittany as soon as she saw her wife flinch, wearing a crestfallen expression._

_“Don’t yell at me, I-I just wanted some cuddles,” Brittany’s lower lip trembled. She then sighed. “Come to bed later, okay?” With that, she turned and scampered away._

_Santana felt like she had kicked a puppy. But she didn’t follow Brittany to bed. She just turned back and continued to type away on her computer._

x

_“San, can I talk to you?” Brittany asked, walking up to Santana who was reading on the sofa._

_Santana set her book down. “Sure, Britt.”_

_Brittany sat down next to her and took a deep breath. “So, um, you know how you hate your job?”_

_That took Santana by surprise. “Where are you going with this, Brittany?” she scowled._

_Brittany fidgeted with her fingers. “I-I just think that you should quit your job,” Brittany said nervously. “It’s making you unhappy and I don’t like it.”_

_“And what do I do if I quit? It gives us a stable income, what do we do without it?” Santana raised an eyebrow._

_Brittany took another deep breath. “I think that you should chase your dreams, Santana. I think that you should try and make it as a singer.”_

_“Me? A singer?” Santana scoffed. “Brittany, you don’t know how hard it is out there. There are so many good singers as my competition. I don’t think that I can make as much as I do now if I became a singer.”_

_“But it’s your dream,” Brittany persisted. “Shouldn’t we all try to do something that we want in our life? At least try, Santana. That’s all I want. Quit your job and pursue a singing career.”_

_“Brittany, like I said, it is incredibly difficult out there. I don’t think you get how hard it is to make it out there in the entertainment industry.” Santana replied._

_“Actually, I do know. I’m a dancer, remember?” Brittany reminded._

_Santana scoffed. “Exactly. Now you get why I don’t want to pursue a singing career.”_

_Brittany scowled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”_

_Santana’s words came out of her mouth before she could stop it. “Your career isn’t exactly going strong, is it? Turns out that typing data onto a laptop is better than you prancing around, no?”_

_“P-Prancing around?” Brittany repeated, offended and hurt. “H-How can you say that? I work my socks off for every performance!”_

_“And how much money is that getting you?” Santana raised an eyebrow._

_Brittany opened and closed her mouth a few times, shocked. “H-How dare you? You’re the one that encouraged me into taking this career path!”_

_“Yep,” Santana popped the p. “You’re right. I can afford one person not making any money in this household. If I became a singer, then we’ll both be on the streets. I’m sorry Brittany, but I’m just keeping it real.”_

_Brittany gaped at Santana for a few seconds, outraged and irate. “Fuck you Santana,” Brittany seethed. Hearing that expletive come out of Brittany’s mouth shocked the brunette, she wasn’t used to her wife swearing. “At least I’m doing something with my life. Fine! Go ahead and live your pathetic life! You’re pathetic, you know that, Santana? You’re a coward! Was a coward, will be a coward!” With that, Brittany stalked off._

_Santana’s words continued to come out without her brain processing it. “Get it right, Brittany! It’s once a coward, always a coward!” she shouted after her wife._

_She heard a sob and the door slamming shut harshly._

_Santana sighed and picked up her book again._

x

Santana could understand why Brittany did what she did now, to some extent. It was weird how Santana didn’t even feel angry anymore. She just felt… empty. No, actually she felt sad.

Now come to think of it, Santana hadn’t exactly been the best of wives either. Maybe she shouldn’t put all the blame on Brittany. She played a huge part too, in the demise of their marriage. She should get quite some blame as well.

But that didn’t mean that what Brittany did wasn’t wrong. But Santana no longer felt angry at Brittany cheating on her. She just felt sad, resentful, and hurt. Brittany only had Santana’s best interests at heart. If anything, Santana pushed her towards those people in her dance studio.

For the first time since she left, Santana started to cry. She was a horrible person. She didn’t deserve Brittany.

Before long, she had made it to her destination. She parked her car on the side of the road, then trudged towards the front door. She didn’t bother taking out her stuff. If she lets her stay, then she’ll unpack tomorrow.

Nervously, she rang the doorbell.

There was no answer.

Santana internally chastised herself when she felt disappointed. Of course there would be no answer! It was nearly four in the morning, after all, she would still be sleeping.

But still, Santana needed a place to stay. Sleeping in her car wasn’t exactly appealing so far. She made it here, she needed help.

Wiping a tear away from her cheeks, she rang the doorbell again. This time, she heard shuffling.

It took about a minute or so, but the door finally opened.

“S-Santana?”

“Hey Quinn,” Santana said.

“W-What are you doing here at this time?” Quinn asked incredulously, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

“Um,” Santana cast her eyes down. “Do you mind if I crash on the couch tonight?”

“Ugh, more like morning,” Quinn yawned again. “Alright, come on in.”

“Thank you,” Santana whispered, tears still running down her cheeks but she didn’t care. She followed Quinn into the lounge, where the two of them sat down on the sofa.

“Do you want some water or something?” Quinn asked gently. Santana nodded, and Quinn whispered “Okay” and left to go to the kitchen.

A minute or so later, Quinn came back with a cup of water and Santana started to sip on it, both hands on the cup.

“So, care to tell me why you turned up at my house at like four in the morning?” Quinn asked as she took in Santana’s appearance: tear-stained cheeks, swollen eyes, quivering lips.

“Brittany cheated on me,” Santana whispered, between sips of her drink.

“W-What?” Quinn asked, surprised.

“S-She cheated on me,” Santana sobbed, setting the cup down and burying her head in her hands.

“Are you sure?” Quinn asked.

“Almost,” Santana wheezed, coughing a little. “She comes home late every day, she smells of cologne, her hair is always messed up, god, w-why would she…” Santana faltered as sobs overtook her again, rendering her incapable of further speech.

Quinn sighed and hugged Santana close. “Maybe she didn’t cheat on you, Santana. She loves you.”

“You don’t know what happened to us over the past month or so,” Santana wept. “We haven’t had sex once, and we barely kissed. Our marriage is falling apart.”

Quinn let Santana sob on her shoulder, unsure of what to do. “Look, Santana, I know for a fact that you two are made for each other. Maybe you just need to let her explain herself, maybe this is just all a huge misunderstanding.”

“I sure hope it is,” Santana mumbled into Quinn’s shoulder. “But I don’t really want to see Brittany right now. I just left her, seeing her just h-hurts too much. S-She hasn’t even called me once after I left. It’s like she doesn’t even care. She p-probably just left to be w-with one of the guys at her s-studio…”

“Come on now, you shouldn’t let your imagination best you,” Quinn said. “How about you get some sleep now, and we can talk more in the morning?”

“Okay,” Santana cleared her throat. “You mind if I stay here for a few days? I’ll just sleep on the couch.”

“You can stay here for as long as you need,” Quinn smiled to try and lighten up the brunette’s mood. “And you can sleep in the bed. The couch is really uncomfortable.”

“B-But what about you? Where are you sleeping?” Santana asked.

“The bed is big enough for the two of us,” Quinn reassured. “Come on, let’s go get some rest.”

“Okay,” Santana nodded, wiping some tears from her sleeve.

With Quinn helping the brunette, the two of them trudged towards the bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter 3 **

Brittany groaned as she stirred in her dreamless sleep. It did take her about a minute or two, but eventually, she got awake enough to open her eyes. It hurt initially to open her eyes; when she put a finger on it, she found that it was completely swollen. Her vision was slightly blurred. Whether it was the effects of sleep still upon her or the fact that her eyes were so swollen, she didn’t know.

She hugged the pillow that used to belong to Santana closer to her. For a short while, a very short while, Brittany had thought that it was Santana next to her. But that pillow held no heat. It was too soft. It was too small. It was not Santana.

Brittany felt the tears creeping up to her eyes again as she recalled what happened the night before. She whimpered and leaned her head against the pillow that was in her arms. She tried desperately to gain some control of her emotions, as crying really hurt her eyes and her throat, but she just couldn’t keep the tears at bay. She let out quiet sobs against the pillow, which gradually got wetter and wetter as it soaked in Brittany’s tears of misery.

Eventually, Brittany felt slightly better as her eyes started to dry again. It is said that people feel better after a good cry. Brittany definitely felt the effects of that. Sighing, she set down the rather damp pillow into the space next to her. The space which Santana used to occupy.

Brittany now understood how lonely it was to sleep alone in a bed made for two. She understood how Santana felt over the past month now. Only a little too late, when she got to experience it herself.

Why didn’t she just summon up the energy to go home then, instead of staying overnight? Why did she ever neglect Santana to the point of her leaving?

Regret. Remorse. Longing. These were the only emotions that Brittany knew. What was happiness? What was joy? She couldn’t seem to remember it felt like.

She made some kind of attempt at taming her messy blonde hair with her hand, brushing it out of her face and letting it flow down the back of her head. She decided to get some food into her stomach, even though she didn’t feel particularly hungry. Brittany trudged through what seemed like endless doors of never-ending grey, until she reached the kitchen.

Well, at least Santana had left the food in the fridge. That had to stand for something, right? She cared for Brittany enough to not let her starve.

Brittany got out some milk and opened the cupboard, looking for something to go with the milk. Initially, her hand gravitated towards the box of lucky charms that was on the middle shelf, but she decided against eating that. It was too… vibrant. Too happy. Brittany’s hand moved a bit higher to reach for the oatmeal that sat on the top shelf. Santana sometimes had oatmeal. It was a strange idea, but maybe if Brittany ate oatmeal, she could maintain some kind of connection with the brunette, however severed it was.

Thankfully, Brittany was able to add the oatmeal onto the milk without setting fire to anything. It was something that she was prone to doing before, she would somehow manage to turn the stove on, and then she would either burn herself or put something flammable and it would catch fire.

As Brittany sat alone at the table, on the chair that Santana had sat on the night before, she quietly ate mouthful after mouthful of oatmeal. She didn’t understand really why anyone would eat oatmeal. It seemed so… grumpy. Like something for old people.

It was healthy though, she guessed. Much better than the lucky charms that she eats normally.

When she finally finished her breakfast in grave silence, she went back to the kitchen with her bowl to wash it up. As her hand mindlessly scrubbed at the bowl, she looked out the window and noticed how the sky was completely grey. It wasn’t raining, though.

It was weird. The weather always reflects one’s mood. Brittany was feeling pretty grey right now.

Santana had suggested before that the reason for that was because one’s mood tends to change depending on the weather. If it was a nice day, with clear blue skies and a beaming sun, she said that she would feel happier and more optimistic.

Brittany wondered how Santana was feeling right now. Was she shaken at all about her leaving? Maybe she wasn’t. She was so angry yesterday.

Normally Santana cools down after an hour at most, but Brittany didn’t know about now. For all she knew, Santana could still be furious at her.

Brittany walked out of the kitchen and back to her room. It took her a little while, but eventually, she managed to find her phone. Maybe she should call Santana, beg her one last time to let her explain herself. Beg her to come back.

She wasn’t sure if calling Santana would make things better or not. What if she actually picked up? What would Brittany say?

Brittany pressed the power button and found that the phone was unresponsive. Initially, she was confused as to why her phone was off, but then she remembered that it died the day before when Brittany was at her dance practice. Brittany sighed and plugged the phone into the charger and walked out of her bedroom.

Brittany saw her laptop on the table in the lounge so she decided to use it, which may help her take her mind off some certain things that would trigger her to cry all over again.

She managed to switch it on without any difficulties, which was good. When the laptop reached the desktop screen, an icon caught her eye.

Skype.

XxX

“I think that you need to explain yourself,” Quinn’s stern voice woke Santana up. Santana inhaled deeply as she flipped in Quinn’s bed. It smelled a little different. Santana preferred the comfort of her own bed, waking up next to her wife, except it wasn’t really her bed anymore. Not with it reeking of cologne and weird foreign smells that just wasn’t Brittany.

Ugh, Brittany. Who knew that love could be so difficult?

Santana cranked an eyelid open, confused as to why Quinn would be waking her up in such a way. Her confusion only got stronger as she couldn’t see Quinn next to her, in fact Quinn wasn’t even in the room. Who was Quinn talking to?

Santana slid out of bed and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Then she strutted out the bedroom, towards the source of the voice.

“I-I will,” Brittany’s voice said. “I promise.”

Wait. Was Brittany here? How did she know that Santana was with Quinn? Did she seriously drive for four hours or so just to get to Quinn’s? If that was the case, then maybe Brittany did care about their relationship, if she was willing to drive for hours in the night, neglecting sleep, just to get here.

“Um… do you know where Santana is? Is she okay?” Brittany’s voice whispered.

Why did Brittany ask that? Wasn’t she here already?

“Yeah, she’s fine, she crashed at mine last night,” Quinn informed and Santana could hear Brittany’s sigh of relief. It was at this moment that Santana realised that Brittany was video calling Quinn, for what she didn’t know, but Brittany didn’t actually come here. For some reason, Santana’s heart sank. “She’s actually sleeping right now.”

“Oh,” Brittany breathed. “Um, is she sleeping in your bed?”

“Yeah, why?” Quinn replied.

“W-Were you sleeping with her?” Brittany asked fearfully.

“Yes?” Quinn replied.

“O-Oh.” Santana rounded the corner and saw the back of Quinn’s head on a chair, with a laptop perched on the table. Brittany’s face was visible on the screen, and she looked absolutely horrible. Well, Santana thought that she still looked gorgeous because Brittany couldn’t be anything other than beautiful, but Brittany was in a horrible state. Her face was weirdly pale, her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and were completely dull, lacking in the vibrance and colour that it usually has. “Um, did anything happen?” Brittany whispered.

Quinn seemed to realise what Brittany was trying to get at. “Oh don’t worry, nothing happened between the two of us.”

“Oh, okay,” Brittany closed her eyes and let out another audible sigh of relief.

“So,” Quinn’s voice spoke up again. “Care to explain why Santana turned up at my doorstep crying at four in the morning?”

Santana had contemplated coming out of where she was eavesdropping from, but upon second thought, Santana didn’t really want to make her presence known. She was kind of interested in what Brittany had to say to Quinn.

“S-She drove to yours?” Brittany gasped.

“No, I picked her up,” Quinn deadpanned.

“Oh,” Brittany nodded. “That’s good.”

“No, Brittany, I did not pick her up. How can she turn up at my doorstep if I picked her up?” Quinn said in a slightly snarky manner. Santana knew that Quinn was raising an eyebrow even though she couldn’t see the short-haired blonde’s face.

“I-I…” Brittany faltered and she looked away from her laptop camera.

Brittany looked really defeated. Santana felt slight anger at Quinn, because she thought that Quinn was being a little too harsh on the tall blonde. Brittany was already on the receiving end of Santana’s harshness yesterday night, did she really have to go through Quinn’s harshness as well?

“So,” Quinn said without giving Brittany a chance to complete what she was about to say. “Want to explain why Santana’s over here now?”

“S-Santana left me,” Brittany started to sob again. “S-She thought that I was c-cheating on her.”

Santana really hated to see her wife cry. Especially when she was the source of Brittany’s tears.

“And were you?” Quinn’s voice lacked any sympathy.

“No!” Brittany said, leaning slightly closer to the camera. “I-I would never. I love her.”

“Fine,” Quinn said suspiciously. Quinn had only heard Santana’s side of the story, so it was natural for her to still suspect Brittany of cheating. Now come to think of it, Santana hadn’t heard Brittany’s side of the story either. She didn’t really give her a chance, because she was just so upset and so angry then. “Say you were telling the truth. What would make Santana think that you were cheating on her?”

“Um, I-I come home late a lot,” Brittany sighed. “Santana said that I smelled of cologne…”

“Okay, let me stop you right there,” Quinn said, putting out a hand. “Why would you smell of cologne? That is a pretty tell-tale sign that you’ve been cheating.”

“Please!” Brittany blubbered. “Santana already doesn’t believe me, can you please believe me?”

Quinn put her hand on her forehead, sighing. “Fine. I’ll believe you. So, tell me, what has got you turning up home late all the time?” Quinn enquired.

“Ah,” Brittany’s eyes darted away from the camera. “I-I can’t really tell you, Quinn. It’s a secret.”

Quinn scoffed and Santana guessed that Quinn was rolling her eyes.

“Really!” Brittany begged. “I-I can’t tell you.”

“You can tell me, don’t worry,” Quinn said. “Or you’re not really giving me anything to convince me that you are not cheating,” she added, sounding slightly more serious.

“Um,” Brittany looked a little hesitant. “I-I can’t tell you because it was meant to be a surprise. I’m sorry, Quinn.”

A surprise? What was Brittany talking about?

“Whatever,” Quinn said, much to Santana’s annoyance. If only Quinn pushed a little further, Santana could know why Brittany was late home all the time! Maybe Brittany was telling the truth the whole entire time, that she was not cheating on Santana. After all, Brittany had never been a good liar.

“Look, Quinn, I-I don’t know what to do,” Brittany started to weep again. “Santana h-hates me now.”

“She doesn’t hate you,” Quinn reassured, sighing again. “Maybe all of this is a huge misunderstanding. I’ll go talk to her, okay?”

“Okay,” Brittany cast her eyes down. “C-Can you try and convince her to come home? I r-really miss her.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Quinn replied. “If you need to talk to me later, I’m just a call away, okay?”

“Thanks, Quinn,” Brittany said before her face disappeared from the screen. Quinn dismissed the ‘How was your call?’ message that came up and closed the laptop lid. Then she got up from her chair and started to make her way towards Santana.

Santana decided that she didn’t want to be found. Therefore she backed away from behind the door where she was hiding and briskly made her way back to Quinn’s bed. She slid in beneath the covers and turned her back to the doorway, so that Quinn couldn’t see that she was awake. Santana composed herself and closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep.

Quinn walked into the room and reached over, gently shaking Santana’s shoulders. “Morning, Santana. You wanna eat something? I’ve made you some breakfast.”

Santana flipped and groaned as if she just woke up. “Yeah, that would be nice,” she replied. “Who were you talking to back there?” Santana asked, pretending that she didn’t know already.

Quinn looked a bit conflicted for a short while, as if she was deciding whether to lie or not. “Um, I was actually talking to Brittany.”

“Brittany?” Santana feigned surprise, which seemed to be convincing enough to fool the blonde before her. “What about?”

“Brittany called me this morning crying, Santana. She was miserable,” Quinn said.

Santana’s emotions seemed to split into two different identities at this moment. One side of her felt a bit sad, heart aching at her usually bubbly blonde feeling so down. The other side, which was slightly more sinister, felt slightly satisfied. _Good. Let her suffer_ , said side seemed to tell her.

“Of course she would be,” Santana mumbled. “I’d be worried if she wasn’t.”

“Seriously, Santana. I don’t think that she was cheating on you. Maybe you should just go and let her explain everything to you,” Quinn suggested.

Santana sighed and sat up on the bed. “While I fully believe that she will explain herself, I don’t think that she will explain everything, Q,” Santana said. “I just need a bit of time away from her, just want a bit of space. I’m just not ready to face her yet.”

“I understand,” Quinn nodded. “Well, don’t wait too long, Santana, Brittany looked absolutely shattered.”

“Okay, well, I’ll tell you when I’m ready. Do you mind if I stay here for a few days?” Santana asked.

“Yeah, of course,” Quinn said. “Meanwhile, do you want some breakfast? I’ve poached an egg and sizzled up some bacon for you.”

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Santana mustered up a smile. “Thank you, Quinn.”

XxX

Brittany sighed as she put on a shirt. She still had to get ready for her dance practice. She had a performance coming up in two weeks’ time. It was really important to her because while she had a group performance as usual, she had a solo performance this time. She had heard that there would be scouts in the audience, so if she manages to impress them she may be able to take her career even further, maybe even find her break and gain some fame.

She wondered if Santana would be in the audience. Her wife had not failed to show up to her performances at all, bar the most recent one she had two months ago because Santana had a meeting that day and therefore she couldn’t turn up. Brittany wondered if she would make up with Santana in two weeks’ time. She could definitely get her errand finished by then, after all it was almost finished, but she wasn’t sure if Santana would come back to see it.

She really didn’t want to go to this dance practice though, as she was so emotionally and physically tired. However, she had to, because this practicing for this performance was really important and plus, she had already missed two practices. She couldn’t really afford to lose another one.

She had lived the entirety of yesterday and the day before that in hope, sometimes sitting close to the front door, just hoping that it would open and she would see her wife again. After the talk she had with Quinn two days ago, some hope had been restored in her heart. Quinn seemed to believe her, and she seemed to be willing to help. Maybe she would convince Santana to come back and hear Brittany out, give her one more chance.

Brittany would make sure that she didn’t blow it.

This made Brittany all the more motivated to finish her errands. Santana could come back any second, or so she hoped. If Santana came back and Brittany still refused to tell her why she’s been late home, then she would just leave again. However, if Brittany told her, then the surprise would be ruined.

There wasn’t really any good way out of this. The only way was for Brittany to hurry up and complete it, and then she can blindfold her wife and show her the surprise that she had spent months planning and working on.

That is if Santana will ever come back. Brittany wasn’t expecting Santana to come back running into her arms anytime soon, but it didn’t hurt any less when she was left alone and cold in her bed.

Brittany crouched and reached for her favourite trainers in the shoe rack by the door. She then walked out of her apartment, opting to take the stairs instead of the elevator. The elevator holds a memory from a few days ago that Brittany was desperately trying to put to the back of her mind. As she let the cool morning air whip her in her face, she tied her hair up in a ponytail. She was going to do it at the dance studio but she didn’t want the wind blowing hair into her face.

She decided to walk to her dance studio too. It really wasn’t that long a walk, like about forty minutes long, and besides, walking in the cool air helped the blonde cool down and make her feel a bit better. She had been feeling awful over the past few days, and really, it was a nice change to be walking and be out and about instead of staring at the front door waiting for Santana to come home the whole time.

Brittany allowed herself to indulge in memories of her and Santana as she walked at a leisurely pace towards her workplace.

She allowed a few tears to come out due to the nostalgia.

Because she would not be crying again for a few hours. Dancing was her second favourite thing after Santana. It allowed her to immerse herself into her own world, into her own bubble for an extended amount of time. It allowed her to forget temporarily that Santana left her.

Brittany had Santana to thank for her job, Brittany mused. Santana was the person who had encouraged Brittany to chase her dreams. It was a little too bad that Brittany couldn’t encourage Santana to chase her dreams. Brittany would do all she could for that to change, however. If only Santana would let her.

If only Santana came back and let Brittany hold her hand, giving her another chance.

XxX

“Quinn, I think that I’m going to go back now,” Santana informed as she and Quinn were watching some show she didn’t know on Netflix, their dinners on their laps.

Quinn turned to face Santana. “Really? What made you change your mind? I recall you telling me that you needed another night here because you weren’t ready a few hours ago.”

“I know,” Santana looked down. “I-I just really miss her, okay? I probably shouldn’t have left in the first place. I should’ve just sat her down and just… talked to her. I should’ve just done the mature thing. I-I just want to see her again…” Santana exhaled shakily. “I still love her… even if she did cheat on me. Is that messed up, Quinn? That I love her unconditionally?”

“No, of course that’s not messed up,” Quinn reassured, putting a hand on Santana’s back and rubbing it soothingly. “But isn’t it a little dangerous to drive back now? It’s kind of late, and your place is a couple of hours away.”

“I don’t care,” Santana sniffed. “I just want to make things right between the two of us. I don’t want to give up on us, even if she isn’t putting in any effort on her part.”

“Wait,” Quinn said. “What do you mean by ‘she isn’t putting in any effort’?”

“Oh, I haven’t told you this,” Santana mumbled. “The reason why I decided to leave was because I asked her to come home for dinner. Brittany promised that she would be home, so I prepared a really romantic dinner which took me hours to prepare as an attempt to just, you know, try and improve things between us. Because we haven’t been good for a long time. Like we don’t do things couples should do. We hardly kiss anymore, and we haven’t had sex in ages, and we barely see each other around the house because Brittany’s never home. Anyway,” Santana wiped at her eyes, “She never showed up. I kept on calling her, texting her, but she never responded. She turned up four hours late, when all the food had gone cold, the candle had burnt out. She had completely forgotten.”

“But Santana, maybe dance overran for her? Didn’t you say that she had a big performance coming up?” Quinn asked, trying to not jump to the worst scenario, the conclusion that Santana had jumped to when she turned up at Quinn’s.

“Dance can’t overrun every day for a month,” Santana said sadly. “Not for hours. Brittany had initially blamed it on the traffic. Then she said that she stayed behind for extra practice. Eventually, that ‘extra practice’ got longer and longer. She would sometimes not come home at all. I mean, that can only mean one thing, right?” Santana met Quinn’s hazel eyes fearfully. “I-I don’t understand. I get that I may have been a little distant recently, b-but is our love not strong enough? W-Why would she cheat on me?”

“I thought that we have established that she was not cheating on you,” Quinn said. “She loves you too much for that.”

“But we don’t know if she had been cheating for sure,” Santana replied. “Which is why I want to go back. One, I really want to see her again, I really miss her. Two, I want some answers, from her, face-to-face. I think that I’m going to give her an ultimatum. If she doesn’t come clean, then g-god, I-I…” Santana faltered. “I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

Quinn sighed, not entirely sure whether or not to let Santana leave. “Just don’t be too harsh on her, okay? She may have her reasons for not telling you, Santana,” Quinn said.

“I just want her to be honest,” Santana mumbled. “I just want her to look at my eyes directly and say that she had not been cheating. That’s all I want.”

“Okay,” Quinn sighed, casting her eyes down to her lap. “Well, do you want me to drive you home?” Quinn asked.

Santana shook her head. “No, it’s okay,” she said. “I don’t want to bother you, it’s a long drive.”

“No, it’s fine,” Quinn persisted. “It’s really no trouble at all.”

“It’s okay,” Santana insisted. “It’s already seven in the evening, by the time you get back it will be like three in the morning or something. It’s not safe to be driving for so long at night, Quinn. I’ll be fine.”

Santana made a point. “Okay,” Quinn relented, sighing. “But you’ll call me if anything happens, right?”

“Of course,” Santana promised.

XxX

Brittany spat out foamy liquid as she rinsed out her mouth with the tap. She then palmed a bit more water and stuffed it into her mouth. She tilted her head back, letting the water run through her throat, gargling, then spat it all out into the sink. She coughed once or twice and spat into the sink again. Sniffing a little, she set her toothbrush on the side. She couldn’t help but notice how the other toothbrush was gone. Everything in this house was just a constant reminder of a certain someone’s absence.

Brittany splashed cold water into her face a few times, rinsing it out, then dried her face and her slightly wet hair which clung to her face with a towel. She then turned to look at herself in the mirror.

At least she was getting a little bit better. Her eyes were still slightly puffy, but at least she was recognisable now. A few days ago, Brittany didn’t recognise the girl that stood on the other side of the mirror.

Brittany walked out of the bathroom to check on the front door one last time before she went to bed. She opened the door to her apartment, peeking her head out and looking left and right through the corridor, hoping to catch sight of the brunette that she had loved for more than half her life. Sighing when she saw no one after about three minutes of just scouting the corridors, she stepped back into the apartment and locked the front door. She threw the keys into the bowl dejectedly and walked back towards her bedroom.

She didn’t expect to see Santana. But it still hurt to know that she had to sleep alone again tonight.

With every passing night, the chance of Santana was coming back was getting slimmer and slimmer.

But Brittany would not despair, not yet. She was an optimistic person. She had nearly finished. It was almost ready.

Santana would be so happy when she sees it. Hopefully.

Brittany walked into her bedroom and opened the closet. It was just so… bare. The sight of it was just another reminder of a certain someone’s absence. Brittany sighed and stripped herself bare of clothes. She then dug out her blue pyjamas and put them on.

Pressing her back against her mattress, she reached for her phone on her bedside table. Almost instinctively, Brittany’s fingers opened up speed dial and hovered over Santana’s contact. She really wanted to call her wife. She really missed her. She just wanted to hear her voice again, even if it was Santana screaming at her. Something was better than nothing.

Brittany was scared to call Santana, however. She hadn’t heard from the brunette since she left, and she had no idea how she was feeling. She wondered if Quinn had managed to get through to Santana and got her to change her mind, maybe even convince her to come home.

It was a bit unlikely. Santana was so mad at her. Santana thought that she was cheating. Santana will probably never forgive her.

Santana had left her ring.

Had she lost the best thing that had ever been hers?

Brittany’s fingers hovered over Santana’s icon for a few more moments before her resolve broke. She couldn’t do it.

A lone tear trailing down the right side of Brittany’s face, she opened up her phone gallery. There were so many pictures, mostly of her and Santana, neatly sorted into folders. First, Brittany pressed onto the folder that read ‘Baby B & Baby S’. The pictures inside weren’t really baby pictures of them, it was just really old photos of when they were both young. The image quality of them wasn’t very good as they were taken so long ago, but the details could still be made out. Brittany chuckled when she saw a picture of her ten-year-old self riding Santana’s back as if she was a horse. She and Santana looked so… happy. Like it was just the two of them in the whole world.

Brittany scrolled through a few more pictures before she closed the folder and opened a new one. This one was titled ‘Coming of Age’. A few more tears trailed out of Brittany’s eye as she saw pictures of her and Santana in various places: some were with other people in the glee club, some were with Quinn at what seemed like some kind of party, some was just the two of them cuddled up and taking selfies in various locations, like at theme parks, at home, in restaurants, at cinemas. Brittany remembered them, how they used to have a date night every Friday, how they would always spend the weekend over at each other’s, doing nothing and everything with each other at the same time.

A few minutes later, Brittany exited the folder and opened a new one. This was titled ‘Now Proudly Pierce-Lopez”.

Oh god.

Brittany started to sob as she looked through her marriage photos with Santana. She saw the picture of them at the altar, hands clasped, staring intensely into each other’s eyes with nothing but love. She saw the picture of them in beautiful white dresses, kissing as blossoms and vibrant flower petals were thrown in the sky. She saw the picture of them kissing passionately when the priest finally announced that they were married. At the corner of the picture, she could see some people clapping and some people wiping tears from their eyes.

Brittany couldn’t stop the whimpers. She couldn’t stop the tears. She just kept scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. Reminiscing every moment that the camera captured into a single picture. She could remember them all.

She was so caught up in the pictures and the memories that she didn’t hear the front door open and close.


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter 4 **

It was a little strange to be back home after all these days at Quinn’s. Santana had grown a little used to the general smell of Quinn, as she had been sleeping in Quinn’s bed and been eating Quinn’s food, so the smell of her own apartment felt a little… foreign. Santana sighed and put down her set of keys in the bowl that was next to the door. At least the other set of keys were here, meaning that Brittany was home. If she wasn’t home, then Santana really didn’t know what to think of her wife anymore, because where could she be at nearly midnight? Most likely at her colleague’s house, doing things that Santana would never want to envision in her head.

Santana debated whether to get her things out in the trunk or not. She didn’t know if she was going to stay. After a few moments of contemplation, she decided that she probably was going to, for this night at least. She didn’t really feel like driving another four hours to get to Quinn’s or sleeping alone in her car. But for the time being, she wouldn’t take out her stuff just yet. It was quite late, and she could always do it in the morning.

She wondered how Brittany was holding on these past few days. According to Quinn, she hadn’t called since the morning after she left. She hadn’t called Santana’s phone either or sent her any texts. Santana had no idea how Brittany was feeling, but judging by what she had seen during her video call with Quinn, she seemed to be pretty miserable as well.

Especially after Santana leaving her ring in her drawer. Did Brittany see it? Santana had left her ring there because she was really angry; she just wanted to show Brittany what would become of their marriage if this continued. Although Santana regretted putting her ring there now: it may have been a little too far. After all, she had no intention of divorcing the blonde that she had loved for most of her life. Her hand feels a bit weird without the ring as well. It held so much sentimental value to her, it nearly became a part of her hand. Without it was a little like missing a finger. Okay, maybe that was a little bit of an exaggeration but the point was that the ring was infinitely valuable to the brunette.

Santana walked past the doors of the apartment that she had come to know better than any other place in the world; she could navigate it with her eyes closed. All the lights were off, which made Santana worry a little because did that mean Brittany wasn’t home? Then she remembered how late it was. That made sense: Brittany was probably sleeping. Well, in that case, Santana would probably sleep in the same bed as her wife. She can confront her tomorrow. Hopefully, Brittany was not smelling of foreign smells like she had been over the past few weeks. Hopefully, she had learnt her lesson. If Santana was to go into their bed however, Santana didn’t think that she would cuddle her wife. She didn’t want Brittany to think that she was let off the hook already.

After all, Santana was still mildly angry at the blonde. But she wanted answers more than anything, really.

As Santana walked past the bathroom, however, she heard some muffled sounds. She stopped her movements and strained her ears to hear more.

She heard some strangled sobs and a little bit of whimpering.

Brittany.

Well, it was good to know that Brittany was miserable after Santana’s leaving. If she wasn’t, then maybe she didn’t care about their marriage. She didn’t care about Santana. Santana’s heart would be absolutely shattered if that was the case. Thank god, Brittany still feels at least something for the brunette.

Cautiously, Santana opened the door to the bedroom. The light wasn’t on, but the dim lamp was on, meaning that she could see what was going on. Brittany was wearing the cute blue pyjamas that Santana had bought her last Christmas, and her back was facing the Latina. Her body was shaking a little, and one of her fingers was swiping at her phone. Santana squinted a little to make out what Brittany was looking at on her phone.

Pictures, it seemed. Santana edged closer quietly to see what pictures Brittany was looking at, and when she saw what it was, Santana’s heart lurched slightly uncomfortably.

It was of the two of them. In their honeymoon.

Santana remembered that. It was just after they got married, they had gone to Hawaii for a week or so. They had rented a rather expensive holiday villa and it was just the two of them, no one else. They would spend every night curled up into each other and wake up to each other every morning. They would take walks and breathe the fresh air, exploring attractions together. It was pure bliss for the two of them.

Brittany’s hiccup which was promptly followed by a bit more sobbing jolted Santana out of her trance. Tentatively, Santana walked over to the other side of the bed, so that Brittany was facing her. Brittany didn’t see her, however, as her eyes were clenched shut. Her entire face was slightly flushed and filled with glistening tears. Santana felt a little bad, so she edged closer and put a hand on her wife’s shoulder.

Brittany was clearly not expecting anyone to be home, so her eyes opened immediately and she jolted, sitting up. Santana could see a bit of fear in Brittany’s eyes before Brittany saw Santana and that fear faded, and is replaced with something that Santana couldn’t quite place.

“S-San…” Brittany croaked, rapidly wiping at her face with her sleeves. “Y-You’re back…”

“Yeah,” Santana mumbled, reaching behind her for a chair and bringing it just in front of the bed so that she and Brittany were sat facing each other now. “We need to talk, Brittany.”

“O-Of course,” Brittany replied quickly, still drying her face with her sleeves.

“Brittany, I want you to be honest, okay? I’m trusting you one more time, so don’t lie to me, okay?” Santana asked.

“I won’t,” Brittany promised. “I-I’ll tell you as much as I can.”

Something sparked in Santana’s chest. It felt strangely familiar, yet unfamiliar at the same time. “Now that’s the problem, Brittany. I had a feeling that you won’t tell me everything. How am I meant to trust you if you’re hiding things from me?”

“Please,” Brittany pleaded. “I-I can’t tell you everything, not yet, I’m so sorry.”

Santana looked away from Brittany’s glazed eyes and sucked in a sharp breath. “At least tell me why you were late to my dinner?”

“I-I can’t tell you that either,” Brittany mumbled, with an expression that Santana perceived to be shame.

“Fine,” Santana was starting to get irritated again, unfortunately. “What _can_ you tell me?”

“Um,” Brittany scratched the top of her head. “T-That I’ve been super busy and that’s why I come home late?” Brittany phrased that as if it was more of a question than a statement.

Santana scoffed. “Awesome. Just what I wanted to hear,” she retorted. She stood up from her chair and started to walk towards the door.

“No!” Brittany reached out and grabbed Santana’s wrist, preventing her from leaving. “I-I just need a little bit more time! P-Please just give me a bit of time!”

“How much time can you need?” Santana whipped around to fix her fiery gaze on her wife. “I gave you three days. Is the truth really that hard for you to say? Is it really that horrible?”

“No,” Brittany cast her eyes down. “I-I promise I’ll tell you, I just can’t right now.”

“Whatever,” Santana rolled her eyes. “Call me or text me or whatever when you finally muster up some of your pathetic courage to tell me,” Santana said. “I’m out.” With that, she removed Brittany’s hand from her wrist and strode out of the bedroom.

She was a few paces away from her bedroom when she felt a body slam into her.

Santana whipped around furiously. “What the –”

“Please,” Brittany blubbered, kneeled on the ground so she was looking up to the brunette. “D-Don’t leave, not again. Please stay? I-I love you Santana, I don’t think I can stand you leaving again.”

“And I don’t think I can stand your refusal to tell me anything anymore,” Santana retorted. “Let me go, Brittany.”

“Believe me, Santana, I love you!” Brittany nearly shouted. “I promise I haven’t been cheating on you!”

“Fine,” Santana said, voice still slightly raised. “Then whatever you’ve been doing is _clearly_ more important than my dinner, that I spent _two and a half_ hours preparing? Whatever you’ve been doing is more important than me?”

“Nothing is more important to me than you,” Brittany whispered, her eyes a dull shade of blue. “I love you, Santana.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” Santana said. “I don’t think you love me anymore, Brittany, at least not as much as before.”

“I do!” Brittany gasped frantically. “I do,” Brittany whispered. Santana tried to get herself out of Brittany’s tight grasp, but Brittany didn’t relent. Instead, the blonde rose to her full height, grabbing the back of Santana’s head and crashing their lips together in a kiss.

Santana stood there motionless as Brittany’s lips moved against hers for a few moments, feeling dampness on her face as Brittany’s wet eyelashes flickered lightly against her skin.

Santana wrenched herself from Brittany’s mouth. “No,” Santana said. “No, you don’t get to do that anymore. This doesn’t prove anything.”

Brittany’s expression was so broken and sad that Santana’s heart felt a twinge, probably feeling guilty.

“I-I…” Brittany shifted her eyes onto her feet. “I promise you I’ll tell you in two days, Santana. J-Just please stay here? If I don’t tell you in two days then I’ll let you leave, okay?”

A part of Santana just wanted to break Brittany’s heart all over again and walk out the front door. But seeing her wife so broken, so despondent, made Santana change her mind.

“Fine,” Santana said warningly. “But if you do not tell me then, I’m leaving for good, is that clear?”

The idea of Santana leaving forever made Brittany’s breath hitch. She closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes,” she whispered. “Thank you, Santana.”

“You’re not off the hook yet, Brittany. One last chance. Until then, I’m sleeping on the couch,” Santana announced, walking away from Brittany and towards the lounge, closing the door behind her so that Brittany couldn’t follow her in.

XxX

Santana woke up to the smell of burning. It wasn’t pleasant at all, and Santana wrinkled her nose and buried herself deeper inside her blanket as an attempt to block out the smell.

Wait a second.

Blanket?

Santana’s head popped out from under the blanket again and she took a look around her. She was still in the lounge, and she was definitely still on the couch. She sat up and was rather surprised to find that she had been sleeping on a pillow, which was probably why her neck wasn’t feeling sore. There was also a blanket above her, which she didn’t remember being there when she went to sleep.

Then it struck her. Brittany had brought her the blanket and the pillow.

Santana’s heart warmed a little bit at the endearing behaviour from her wife. Santana stretched her legs a little to try and relieve the slightly sore muscles, then stood up and stretched her limbs.

At that moment, Brittany rushed into the lounge with a plate in her right hand and a mug in her left hand.

“Morning,” Brittany gave a reserved smile. “Um, I’ve made you some breakfast, if you want to eat?”

Brittany? Breakfast? Well, that explained why Santana woke up to the smell of burning. Brittany had always been kind of pathetic in the kitchen. At least she didn’t burn the house down, though.

“Did you bring me these?” Santana asked, gesturing to the pillow and the blanket on the couch.

“Um, yeah, is that okay?” Brittany said, a bit unsure. “Y-You just looked uncomfortable in your sleep.” Brittany seemed to be treading ice around Santana right now. Santana didn’t know if she liked it or not. She was more used to lively and bubbly Brittany, but she didn’t know if she could stand that Brittany right now. She wasn’t really in the mood.

“Thank you,” Santana said, meaning it. Brittany did save her back and her neck from pain, after all. “You said that you made breakfast?” Santana asked.

“Yeah,” Brittany breathed, handing Santana the plate that was in her hand. “Um, I’ve attempted to make some toast for you with jam,” Brittany said, brushing some hair from her face. “This is the best one after a couple of tries.”

Santana examined the monstrosity that sat on the plate. There was one side that was completely burnt: it was completely black. It could probably be mistaken for a slab of coal. Then she flipped the rock hard toast onto the other side and found it completely white. It was soft on the touch as well, as if it was more bread than toast. On top, there were some strawberry jam spread unevenly across the surface. How Brittany managed to make this, Santana had no idea.

“Um, I also have a drink for you,” Brittany continued, handing Santana a mug. “I don’t know how to make coffee, so here’s some orange juice for you.”

Santana sighed as she prodded the toast on the plate. “Um, I’m sorry Brittany, but I can’t eat this,” Santana said, gesturing to the toast. “It’s completely burnt. If I eat this I get cancer.”

“Oh,” Brittany sounded a little sad. “I’m sorry Santana, do you want me to go make you another one?”

“It’s fine,” Santana said, then started to chug the orange juice that was in the mug. She finished it all in one go. “Thank you for the effort though, Brittany. At least you are making some now.”

“I-I…” Brittany faltered. “I’ve never s-stopped.”

“If you say so,” Santana shrugged. She walked out of the room, Brittany following closely behind, and reached for the peg at the front door, retrieving her coat and putting it on.

“W-Where are you going?” Brittany asked, somewhat fearfully.

“To get some food,” Santana replied. “I’m sorry Brittany, but your food is inedible.” Santana instantly regretted her words, it was too harsh and Brittany did try her best to make Santana breakfast. But Santana’s pride stopped her from taking her words back. She turned away from Brittany as she couldn’t bear to see the inevitable hurt that would be on the blonde’s face, and left the apartment to go to the café where she’ll get a coffee and some sandwiches.

When she got home a little more than half an hour later, Brittany was gone.

XxX

It had now been two days and one night since Santana’s return. While she wasn’t overtly aggressive or hostile towards the blonde, she definitely wasn’t like how she was before either: loving, caring, kind.

Brittany found it rather strange, and somewhat frightening, to see her wife in this emotional state that belonged in no man’s land. Growing up, Santana had been nothing but nice to her, protective, endearing. Brittany did know that Santana had some form of aggression towards ones that weren’t her, she just didn’t know what it would be like to be on the receiving end of it.

It really wasn’t nice. Brittany didn’t like it at all.

Brittany had really wanted to tell Santana why she was late home all the time the night she came back. But that would’ve ruined everything. It was nearly finished anyway, Brittany thought that she could beg for a little bit more time under the promise of revealing everything when that time was up. Brittany thanked the heavens when it worked. Santana must still love her, to give her that chance, even if she didn’t reciprocate the kiss at all that Brittany had given her in one last final attempt at showing her love for the brunette. Though, if Brittany had to be honest, Santana’s refusal to kiss Brittany back hurt Brittany a lot.

Santana had always been stubborn. She sees what she believes. If she sees Brittany as a cheater, Brittany would not be anything other than a cheater in Santana’s eyes. If she sees Brittany as someone who didn’t love her, then no matter what endearing things Brittany does, such as attempting to make Santana’s breakfast and unfortunately failing horribly, Brittany does not love her in Santana’s eyes.

That was all about to change, however. Brittany had finally got it all finished. It was finally done, after a few months of planning and designing, and a whole month of decorating.

She was proud that she had done it all by herself. It made her feel really smart. Hopefully, Santana likes it and understands that Brittany had never stopped loving her. Their love and hence their marriage could be just as strong as before, and maybe, just maybe if Brittany was super lucky, they could get intimate again. Brittany really missed sexy times with her wife. The last time they did it, Santana wasn’t really in the mood so it wasn’t really pleasurable for either of them. Brittany was too scared to attempt sexy times with her wife again after that. It was obvious that she wasn’t happy.

In hindsight, failure to show up to Santana’s dinner plans and failure to return home at night wasn’t doing Santana’s mood any favours. Brittany probably should’ve thought that through beforehand.

But that didn’t matter anymore. It was only four in the afternoon on a sunny day, and Brittany finally got it finished. She couldn’t wait to show Santana.

Brittany was walking with a bounce towards the general direction of home when a thought suddenly struck her that made her halt her footsteps.

What if Santana wasn’t home?

Irrational fear suddenly washed over Brittany’s system. Brittany desperately tried to quell it.

It was true that since Santana’s return, Brittany had feared that Santana would just leave again after Brittany was out. This was why Brittany had to spend extra energy to get everything that she had intended to do in the day done before it was too late and Santana starts to suspect things again. Brittany was pretty busy, especially recently, as her dance performance was coming up very soon and she had to practice hours upon hours to perfect her steps.

Hopefully, Santana would turn up to Brittany’s performance. Brittany always did better when Santana was there to cheer her on because she loved to impress her wife. She loved it when Santana said that she was amazing. She was pretty sure that even if she messed up a little bit Santana would still say that she was amazing, but she just wanted to pull off the best performance possible for her wife.

Which was why this marriage worked so well, why Brittany and Santana were so good together. Brittany brought out the best in Santana, and Santana brought out the best in Brittany.

Well, this marriage was less than desirable at this present moment, but that was hopefully about to change.

After a few more calming deep breaths, Brittany convinced herself that Santana was going to be home. She must be, because Brittany had promised her that she would tell Santana everything today. Last night, she had initially planned to get the whole thing finished after dance practice which meant that she would be home at around maybe eight or nine, but she didn’t think that returning home late again would be a very good idea. After all, she had returned home late the past two days and Santana had not been happy. Brittany was very careful to use her own perfume this time, instead of borrowing her colleague’s cologne, so that Santana doesn’t suspect her of cheating any more. Because Brittany had never been cheating. She would never do that to her own wife. Santana had been her first time, and she would be her last time. Brittany swore an oath on that to herself before.

Since Brittany decided that returning home late was not a good idea especially on the day where Brittany was supposed to spill the truth about everything, she decided to finish her dance practice before lunch. She told her dance group that she would not be able to attend the afternoon session because of family problems, which was partly true. Her instructor, thankfully, allowed her to take the afternoon off because she had been working really hard the past two days as well, and she had a consistent performance record. When Brittany finished her lunch that she made herself (Santana usually did but Brittany didn’t dare ask the brunette to make her lunch), she left to finish Santana’s surprise.

About fifteen minutes ago when Brittany finally finished the product, she did a few sound checks to make sure that everything was functioning perfectly. When everything was in working order Brittany had squealed in delight and took another last glance at the whole thing. It was pristine, and genuinely one of the proudest moments of Brittany’s life, because she had done all of it herself.

Hopefully, Santana would be proud of her too.

Brittany was walking the whole way home today because it wasn’t that late so she wasn’t really in a hurry. Plus, her home was only forty minutes away. Walking was good exercise anyway, and it saved her from paying a ridiculous fare for the taxi driver. It was a little unfortunate that Santana didn’t let her drive her car, however.

She was just praying to god that her plan worked.

Because it could go two ways. It could either be the best thing that Brittany had ever done for Santana, and Santana would scoop up the blonde in a huge, bone-crushing hug and kiss her endlessly. They would make love all night and everything would be back to normal. Or, Santana could be furious that Brittany had wasted so much money on things that they would never use, force Brittany to liquidate everything that she had worked so hard to get, file for divorce, split their assets and they would never see each other again.

Brittany was an optimist, so she was pretty sure that the former was going to happen.

That didn’t stop her from subconsciously crossing her fingers the whole way home, however.

XxX

Santana was anxiously looking at the clock. She had been the whole day, and she wasn’t even sure why. Maybe it was because she was scared to find out the truth. Brittany had promised her that she would reveal everything today, and the notion of that made Santana’s insides tingle with nerves. The best explanation that she could give herself for constantly looking at the clock was because she believed that Brittany would be home at some time before eight, so it was some kind of a countdown until the huge reveal.

It made Santana tingle with trepidation, anxiousness, and slight curiosity. After all, in Brittany’s call to Quinn, she had said that it was a surprise. Maybe Santana’s imagination did get the best of her, just like Quinn said. Brittany had been nothing but a great wife to her all this time, there really wasn’t a universe where Brittany would cheat on her, because like Quinn said also, they loved each other, and each other only. Maybe Santana shouldn’t have been so cold, distant, and aggressive to Brittany these past few days. Brittany had been making an effort, like making Santana breakfast, bringing her blankets to keep her warm the last few nights when she slept on the couch and making sure that Santana was comfortable.

She guessed that what had caused them to become less coupley and distant had a lot to do with Santana’s job. Brittany had constantly made a point that she wanted Santana to chase her dreams. But while Santana really wanted to be a singer, she didn’t want to be because she was scared. She had told Brittany, and consequently insulted her career, by saying that most singers don’t make it as there were simply too many starlets out there, and Santana didn’t have enough self-belief in herself to believe that she could make it in the charts. Brittany had been relentless in convincing Santana to chase her dreams despite Santana’s rather vicious words cutting her down, however. But Brittany had suddenly stopped one day. Maybe she really had given up on convincing her wife to pursue a career in singing.

Truth was, Santana really did want to sing for a living. She hated her job. It was just typing endless pieces of data onto a spreadsheet. It gave her no sense of accomplishment and was tedious, to say the least. She did want to do something with her life. But what if she failed? Then the two of them would be struggling for money, and they couldn’t start the family that both of them had wanted for a long time.

Santana had been really stressed out, which is why their marriage started to fall apart. That was the short way to say it. Santana took a while to admit it to herself, but she did in the end when she experienced the few days without the love of her life. It was her. It was her fault. Her denial had made her blind and probably projected it onto Brittany, leading Santana to the conclusion that she had been cheating. So what if Brittany had been smelling of cologne? She dances. Of course, she has to get close with the male dancers in their routines. Santana wasn’t happy about it first, but Brittany had promised her that she was the only one for her.

Dance really could’ve overran. Brittany does have a really important dance performance coming up very soon, after all, so it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that Brittany spent a few extra hours at the studio to perfect her routine. After all, she was a little bit of a perfectionist when it comes to dancing, always wanting to be the best she could be for her wife. Santana admired her for that.

But why would Brittany stay overnight? That still made her a little bit suspicious, but knowing Brittany she really could’ve just exhausted herself in practising her solo dance that she passed out in her studio.

God, what kind of wife was Santana? Why didn’t she just check up on the studio to see if Brittany was okay?

Their marriage falling apart had all been Santana’s fault. Yet Santana was still chipping at it these recent days by being less than friendly to her wife that it just made her cheeks burn with shame.

Santana felt so bad. She should’ve given Brittany a chance to explain before she left.

Santana really needed to figure her shit out. Sort out her abrasive personality, manage her anger issues.

Her train of thought was broken when she heard the door click open. Wait, it was only four-thirty. Why was Brittany home so early?

Santana walked over to where the front door to see, indeed, her wife coming in. Her cheeks were slightly pink, and she looked quite nervous.

“Oh, Santana, you’re home,” Brittany breathed, as she and Santana made eye contact, one at the door, the other a few metres away.

“Yeah, where else would I be?” Santana asked, internally chastising herself for her rudeness immediately. This was exactly what she was talking about. She really needs to cut some snark out of her.

“I-I don’t really know,” Brittany stuttered. There was so much tension between the two of them that it could be cut with a knife. Santana hated that things were a little awkward between the two of them. Nearly all her life, talking to Brittany was just like breathing. She was extremely easy to talk to, she was a good listener, and Santana was just really comfortable with the blonde. It was rather awakening and strange that there was so much tension in the air. “I thought that you may be out,” Brittany continued.

“Well, I’m not,” Santana replied. “So…” she drawled, staring at Brittany, who hadn’t moved an inch since she came home. “You going to take off your shoes or what?”

“Well,” Brittany nearly whispered. “I just want to show you something,” she said. “That will explain everything, like why I’m late and stuff,” she added.

Santana raised an eyebrow. “And you promise that you will tell me everything? Nothing but the whole truth? No omissions?”

“O-Omissions?” Brittany looked confused for a split second before she remembered what that word meant. “No, of course not. I will tell you everything, and answer every question that you may have.”

“So I’m assuming that this thing is outside?” Santana asked.

“Yeah,” Brittany mumbled, seemingly nervous again. “It’s about thirty minutes’ walk away.”

“You going to show me now?”

“Um, yeah. If you don’t mind?”

“Okay,” Santana said, walking over to where Brittany was to get her jacket off the peg and a pair of shoes. “This had better be good, Brittany.”

“It will be,” Brittany promised. Santana could feel Brittany’s rapid heartbeat from where she was, and she wasn’t even remotely close to the blonde. “I hope so anyway.”

“So, you lead the way?” Santana said.

Brittany’s slightly scared blue eyes met Santana’s again. “Yeah,” she whispered. With that, she walked somewhat stiffly out of the apartment again and Santana followed. Every so often, Brittany would glance behind her, just to make sure that Santana was still following.

As they stood in awkward silence in the elevator back down to the ground floor, Brittany spoke up again.

“Um, Santana, I know that things haven’t been the best between us recently, but, um, can you please give me your hand?” Brittany asked timidly.

Santana met Brittany’s gaze again.

“Yeah, you’re my wife remember?” Santana managed to smile softly, holding out her hand.

Brittany smiled weakly in return and gripped Santana’s hand tightly. Brittany’s palms were a little sweaty.

“Thank you,” Brittany whispered.

Brittany didn’t let go of Santana’s hand the whole way there.


	5. Chapter 5

Santana didn’t really talk much at all as she and Brittany walked side by side. Brittany didn’t either. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable silence, it was actually a little bit calming. Since Santana didn’t have Brittany talking to her, she was able to concentrate on the sounds that she didn’t usually focus on. Such as the occasional car driving by the neighbourhood, creating some kind of whooshing sound. Santana realised, after twenty-odd years of living, that different cars produced different sounds. The convertibles created what can be considered a high-pitched sound, whereas the larger ones such as vans produce a lower sound. Also, the pitch of the sound changes as the car drives past her. Santana vaguely remembered why this is through the physics lessons that she attended in high school: it was something that Santana thought was called the Doppler effect and the reason for the pitch changing was because the velocity of the car changes the distance the sound wave had to travel or something. Santana wasn’t the best physicist, but her grades were good enough for her to remember this kind of thing.

This brought Santana’s mind to how she did a bit of tutoring as finals came up. Brittany was struggling with her school work, so Santana took the liberty to become Brittany’s tutor for the weeks before their exam came up. Brittany’s parents had hired some tutors, but they didn’t help much. Which is why Santana tried a slightly different approach: instead of using endless words she tried to compress all the information that they had to learn into colourful flashcards. She actually got Brittany to make some as well, since the process of making flashcards helps with memorising. Brittany was able to pick up the information rather rapidly and was able to pass the tests that Santana set her after each study session. Maybe the main factor in Brittany’s success in those tests is the fact that Santana gave Brittany one sweet lady kiss every two percent she got. Eventually Brittany always got the high 90 percents, so they had loads and loads of sweet lady kisses. It was quite an amazing thing, how Britany managed to get scores in the upper quartile when she did the actual finals exams.

Santana’s train of thought was derailed as Brittany suddenly stopped. Brittany’s hand, which was still firmly clasped in Santana’s left hand, was getting sweaty again.

“Um, Britt?” Santana said. Brittany turned her head and met Santana’s eyes.

“W-We’re nearly there,” Brittany said quietly. “Um, can you just promise that you won’t get mad at me or anything?”

“Depends on what it is,” Santana refused to promise anything if she wasn’t sure that she was going to keep it. “Why would I be mad though?”

“I-I don’t know,” Brittany sighed. She took another breath and started to walk forward again. Since their hands were still conjoined, Santana was pulled along. She walked a bit faster for a few steps until she fell in step with her wife again.

“Is what you are going to show me my ‘surprise’?” Santana asked.

Brittany turned to look at Santana again, blue eyes wide.

“Y-You knew?” Brittany asked.

Santana wanted to way that she had heard Brittany mention something about a surprise in her call with Quinn, but then Santana wasn’t meant to hear what Brittany was saying to Quinn in the first place so that may have not been the best idea.

“No, I’m just guessing.”

“Oh,” Brittany exhaled. “Well, yeah, it was meant to be a surprise. But the mood kind of got ruined when, um, you know.”

The pair walked on for a little bit longer before Santana spoke up again.

“You haven’t been cheating on me, have you?” Santana asked, though it sounded a bit more like a statement than a question.

Brittany shook her head vigorously. “No, Santana. I would never, not in a million years. I love you, San. D-Do you believe me when I say that I love you, Santana?”

Santana met Brittany’s slightly dull eyes again. “I believe you,” she said simply. The two of them walked a little bit longer before Santana spoke again. “You are going to explain everything, right?”

“Yeah, I will,” Brittany said sincerely. “I’ll tell you when we get there, okay?”

Santana just nodded. Now Santana was very intrigued. It seemed like Brittany hadn’t done anything to jeopardise their marriage, after all, if she wasn’t cheating all this time. What Santana really wanted to know now was why Brittany stayed overnight sometimes and came home smelling like cologne. She guessed that she would have to wait to find out. It wouldn’t be much longer anyway.

The couple turned the corner and Brittany paused.

“We’re here.”

XxX

Brittany was practically shaking. She wasn’t exactly sure why she was this nervous. Probably because of how their marriage was seemingly on a thin thread right now. Easily severed if she wasn’t careful. Santana didn’t seem that sceptical anymore, however, which helped quell Brittany’s nerves a little bit. It didn’t seem that likely that Santana was going to file for divorce anymore, now that the blonde had made it clear that she had not been cheating. She was thankful that the brunette had believed her.

However, Santana’s reaction to what Brittany had created could vary hugely. Brittany seriously hoped that she would be happy.

Brittany just wanted Santana to chase her dreams. Since Santana didn’t want to, Brittany decided to take it upon herself to give Santana the push she needed. Her dance job pays well already, and she had been saving up a lot, without Santana knowing. She had spent most of this money on the thing that she was going to show Santana right now. Hopefully, Santana doesn’t think it as a waste of money.

Santana did say that she feared not making it big if she pursued her dreams of being a singer, which meant that they wouldn’t really make enough money to live comfortably. But that wasn’t the case at all. Brittany had never been particularly good at maths, but she had calculated their finances and judging by her current pay Santana had at least a year of trying as a singer and if she didn’t succeed, she could always fall back to what she was doing now. The maths did take a while, but when Brittany double-checked and got the same figures as she did the first time she was sure that her pay was going to suffice for both of them for at least another year. And that was not considering if she gets scouted in her solo performance in a week’s time. If she did well, she may be able to gain fame as a dancer and maybe tour with some famous singers. They get paid really well, and that would give the couple even more financial leeway and allow Santana even more years of trying. And eventually, they could settle down and maybe have some lady babies, starting a family.

God, having a family sounded so good to Brittany. She wanted to grow old and wrinkly with Santana too. She bet that Santana would still be the hottest person alive at seventy. She just knew it. Santana could be nothing but beautiful in Brittany’s eyes.

“What is this place?” Santana’s question broke Brittany out of her reverie.

Brittany glanced at Santana and gave her a smile. “A place that I rented a while ago,” Brittany answered.

“Huh?” Santana looked confused. “When? Why didn’t you tell me? Where did the money come from?”

“About three months ago,” Brittany decided to tell Santana because she deserved to know. “I didn’t tell you because that would’ve ruined the surprise. And, um, I’ve been saving up quite a bit of money from my dancing gigs and I never told you. I actually earn quite a bit more than you think I do.”

Santana looked shocked at the news, then she tilted her head down. “Oh,” her voice was small, face burning slightly. “So is this where you had been staying all the time?”

“Yeah, essentially,” Brittany answered. “Um, it might be easier if we just go inside. You’ll see what it is.”

Brittany tugged Santana’s hand along, towards the front door. Santana was about two steps behind Brittany. This was a good start. Santana seemed to have a positive reaction to this. Maybe Brittany’s plan did work. If it did then Brittany would be absolutely ecstatic and the past month of pain would’ve been all worth it.

“Brittany, how much does this cost?” Santana asked in awe as she looked around the rather spacious building that she was in.

“Um, quite a bit, but that’s okay, my pay covers the rent. I don’t have enough money yet to buy it, but if we sell our apartment we should have enough money to pay some upfront cost and take out a mortgage for the rest,” Brittany replied.

“Wait, hold on, did you say sell our apartment?” Santana asked, apprehensive.

“Yeah,” Brittany scratched the back of her head. “I-I don’t think that our apartment is doing the job. It’s small and not very good if I’m going to be honest. I know that it has a lot of sentimental value to you, so we don’t have to sell it, but I was thinking that we could move in here for a new beginning.”

“W-Wait,” Santana held out her free hand. “Did you say that we move in here?”

“I think that it would be nice,” Brittany mumbled. “It’s not all complete just yet, like I still need to buy more furniture and get this place furnished, but other than that, I think that we can move in here.”

“Woah,” Santana mumbled as she walked into the living room. “This place is gorgeous!”

“It’s not that pretty yet,” Brittany muttered. “It still needs a bit of work. What I’ve spent the most time on is upstairs.”

“U-Upstairs?” Santana stuttered.

“Yeah,” Brittany smiled, starting to gain confidence. This was going really well. At least Santana wasn’t blowing up on Brittany or anything. “This whole house belongs to us.”

“W-Wow,” Santana mumbled.

“Well, how about I give you a tour,” Brittany enthused, dragging Santana out of the living room with her hand. “This place still needs a lot of work, but the main bits I’ve done include here,” Brittany took Santana to a spacious room where there was a speaker located near the corner. “Um, this is for me, but you are free to come here if you want too. This is going to be my dance studio, the speaker isn’t set up complete yet and I haven’t painted the walls, but when all’s done it should be quite nice.”

“Wow,” Santana breathed again, impressed. But before she could dwell on it any longer, Brittany led her away again.

“Here we have the kitchen, there is a bit of food in the fridge as I have stayed here working quite a bit and I get hungry, also there’s a working stove for you to cook on. I don’t really know how these other things work, but they came along with the house so… yeah.” Brittany pointed to the dishwasher and the washing machine, as well as the oven and the microwave.

“The room which you were just in was the living room, I can put a dining table in there as well so we can eat there. We can also move our TV and our couch here and we can have snuggle times, that’s if you want.” Brittany started to feel a little unsure. This was a lot for Santana to process, and while Santana hasn’t had any bad reaction to this whole thing yet, things could always take a turn when Brittany showed Santana what she had spent the past month doing.

Brittany just really wanted Santana to chase her dream. Santana had been unhappy because she hated her job, and Brittany just wanted to do everything in her power to change this. Also, the state of their aging apartment could play a part in Santana’s unhappiness, which is why Brittany decided to find a nice place that wasn’t too far from the city and was relatively quiet where the couple could have a fresh start.

Brittany had found a house that had multiple bedrooms because she thought that this would be a nice place to start a family. She didn’t really want to raise a child if they had one in a small apartment made for two. They could settle down in this place, and start this new section of their lives. Of course, there was the possibility that Santana would not agree to Brittany’s plans. If that was the case, Brittany would still respect Santana’s wishes. She just hoped that, if Santana didn’t agree, she wouldn’t get angry that Brittany did all of this without consulting her first.

As Brittany led Santana upstairs, her heart started to pound again. She was just praying that Santana would react positively to this. Brittany had tried to bring up her hopes of Santana being a singer, but Santana just shot her down. Every time. Hopefully, this time Santana would get pushed towards the direction of her dreams a little further and she could stick a foot in the door.

“Here, we have the bathroom,” Brittany gestured to a room far down, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible. “It also has a shower, but I haven’t set it up yet because I don’t know how to. We could hire someone to do it in the future, I guess. Over here,” Brittany pointed to a room in front of them. “Is our bedroom, that is if you want to sleep here of course. It has a bed and a mattress, but it doesn’t have sheets yet so we might have to move them here. There,” Brittany pointed to another room ahead of them. “We have a spare room, but that can be converted to another bedroom or a study, I don’t know what you would want.”

Brittany took a deep breath. This was the moment.

“Here,” she gestured to a room to their right whose door was closed. “Is, um, the place where I’ve been working on the most over the past few weeks. C-Can you just p-promise me that you won’t get mad at me?”

Santana was still in a bit of a trance. She jolted when she realised that Brittany was asking her a question. “Yeah, of course, I’m not going to get mad, I promise,” Santana stuttered out.

Brittany tried her best to smile, but she was so nervous that she couldn’t. With trembling fingers, she turned the handle and opened the door.

XxX

Brittany didn’t introduce Santana to what was in the room. Santana just stared at the sight in front of her as Brittany moved out of the way to let Santana look.

Santana’s heart stopped.

Ahead of her, was the most intricate, most meticulous studio that she had seen. She had remembered in high school, when she would go to some singing studios as a hobby that contained a microphone and a computer setup at most. The studio that was ahead of her contained everything: a soundproof booth with an expensive-looking microphone set up at Santana’s height with a headset on the table inside. Outside the booth, there was a fascinating setup, there were speakers, mixers, synthesizers, launchpads, keyboards, and more. There was also a PC set up in the middle, presumably for creating music. That wasn’t all, however. The whole place was painted azure pristinely, which just reminded Santana of Brittany’s eyes. Santana’s pupils dilated at the sight, just wanting to take everything in, but there was just so much she couldn’t take it all in.

“I-Is this why you come home late?” Santana gasped.

“Yeah,” Brittany breathed, wringing her hands, still looking a bit timid and nervous. “I-I’m really sorry I missed your dinner, Santana. I’ve been trying to figure out how to set up the mixer and I was just struggling really hard and I lost track of time. I’m really sorry.”

“N-No,” Santana was still gaping in shock at what was in front of her. “A-Are you serious?”

That seemed to alarm Brittany. “Um, do you not like it? I-I can just take everything out and sell it on if you want. I-I just really want you to chase your dreams, Santana. I know that your job is making you really unhappy and I really hate seeing that. I j-just want you to try pursuing a singing career, Santana. I’ve done the maths, even if you don’t do well my job pays well enough to keep us afloat for at least a year, and –” Brittany’s rambling stopped as Santana made a choked sound from her throat.

“I-I…,” Santana faltered. She felt tears come out of her eyes as she started to feel a plethora of emotions. The most prominent one out of them was probably shame. Brittany was doing everything for Santana the whole time. And what was Santana doing? Being a fucking bitch. Being a fucking idiot, being the most fucking inconsiderate person ever. Neglecting her own wife. “I’m so sorry, Brittany. I’m so sorry.” With that, Santana broke into sobs. She tried to wipe them off her cheeks with her sleeves but they just kept coming.

“Why?” Brittany asked, concerned.

“I-I should’ve never left,” Santana gasped. “I should’ve never a-accused you of c-cheating. I should’ve t-trusted you, Britt. I-I…” Santana sniffed. “I love it, Brittany. So much. I-I can’t believe that you went through all this trouble a-and I w-was just an i-inconsiderate bitch…”

“Hey,” Brittany whispered, wanting to hold Santana into her arms and comfort her but she didn’t know if that was okay. “It’s okay, I understand why you thought what you thought.”

“I don’t deserve you, Brittany. T-This is too much.” Santana gestured to everything around her.

“Oh,” Brittany’s face fell. “Do you not want to move in here?”

“No!” Santana hastily corrected herself. “I-I would love to. If you’ll have me, that is…”

“Of course I will have you,” Brittany said. “I did this all for you, Santana.”

“My god…” Santana felt like she was going to faint. She felt this overwhelming love for the woman before her. She loved her so much. She felt so ashamed that she had been treating Brittany wrong these past few months, like she wasn’t worth all the love in the world. Because Brittany did deserve everything, and more. “I-I love you, Brittany. I love you. I love you.” With that, Santana collapsed into Brittany’s chest and started to sob, making Brittany’s clothes wet. “Please say you still love me, Brittany. Please?”

“Of course I love you,” Brittany whispered reverently. “I love you so much, Santana.”

Santana sighed in relief and dried her eyes with her hand, as the tears were starting to slow. She still felt extremely guilty and ashamed, however.

“I want to kiss you, Brittany, is that okay?” Santana whispered, mocha eyes staring intensely into Brittany’s cerulean ones. Brittany nodded softly with a small smile and Santana leaned in to capture her lips with the blonde’s.

She felt the fireworks again. They had not kissed like this in so long. Santana missed it so much. She missed Brittany. She should’ve never let her job get in the way of their relationship. Santana needed to improve as a person. She couldn’t believe that Brittany could put up with all of Santana’s crap and still love Santana. Santana wouldn’t love herself if she was her own wife, that’s for sure.

Brittany smiled into the kiss before they pulled apart. “I missed you, Santana.”

“I missed you too, Brittany. I love you,” Santana whispered.

“I love you too,” Brittany said huskily, and the two women connected their lips again.

After a while of sweet kissing, Santana pulled away.

“Can I try it out?” Santana asked, somewhat excitedly, gesturing to the various items around the studio that Santana just couldn’t wait to get her hands on. Singing was her passion, after all.

“Of course,” Brittany smiled. They giggled giddily and Santana pulled Brittany’s hand towards the computer where there was a mixer sat next to it.

They didn’t really know how those things worked, but together, they learnt how to work them as time went on.

XxX

Brittany was so happy. Actually, she was exhilarated. She had been so worried that Santana would have a bad reaction to Brittany spending a crap ton of money on things without consulting Santana first, but Santana seemed to be pleased and thankful for Brittany’s efforts. So, yeah, it really could not have gone any better.

She even got her sweet lady kisses again! She had missed them so much and she was pleased to know that Santana seemed to enjoy them too, because she was normally the one to initiate the kissing in the first place.

Now Santana hadn’t said that she would drop everything, quit her job, and pursue a singing career. But judging by the amount of fun they had over the past two hours or so, just messing around in the studio, Santana had definitely been nudged in the right direction. She seemed really passionate about it, and she even wrote something in the space of two hours that sounded really nice to Brittany. She had messed around with the music software that was installed on the computer that took Brittany longer than it should to set up, and they even played around with the loop station. Santana had insisted that Brittany helped her with the sounds, and the end result was some of Brittany’s beatboxing accompanied by Santana’s vocals which were all doubled and tripled and layered in perfect harmony. Considering all of this was improvised, it was quite amazing. Brittany didn’t think that she had this much fun in a long time.

It nearly felt like everything was normal again. Except Santana was still a little withdrawn and not completely open, possibly because she still felt guilty about her jumping to the worst conclusions when Brittany started to come home later and later. Her eyes were a little puffy and red from the crying that she did earlier, and her lips were a little swollen from all the kissing they did earlier. In Brittany’s eyes, Santana could not be more beautiful.

“Britt,” Santana’s voice broke Brittany’s train of thought. “I-I just want to say that I’ve had a lot of fun today a-and j-just,” Santana racked her head for words. “Thank you, Brittany. For everything. For the house. For putting up with me. I-I don’t know how I can repay you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Brittany grinned, swinging their hands in a slightly wider arc as they continued to walk down the street. “It’s the least I can do after you accepted my proposal.”

“It’s not,” Santana argued. “This is way beyond what I expected,” Santana gave a small chuckle. “Well, to be fair, I didn’t really know what to expect, but it’s amazing, Britt. I love it.”

“I’m really glad you do,” Brittany smiled, and bent down slightly to give Santana a sweet peck.

“I’m really sorry,” Santana pouted. “For accusing you of cheating. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I’m just pessimistic, and just assumed the worst. You know that I do trust you now, Britt?”

“No more apologies,” Brittany said. “I understand why you thought what you thought.”

“Talking of that,” Santana said. “Do you mind if I ask you a few more questions? Just out of curiosity.”

“Yeah, sure, go ahead,” Brittany replied.

“Um, why did you smell of cologne when you came home?” Santana asked.

“Oh,” Brittany chuckled. “I thought that paint stinks. When I was painting the studio it has this smell that I really hate so I borrowed Mike’s cologne to make it a little better.”

“Mike, your dance partner?” Santana asked.

“Yeah,” Brittany said. “We normally practise together so it was just convenient to borrow his cologne,” Brittany shrugged. “Although on second thought it probably wasn’t a good idea. Me coming home smelling of cologne probably didn’t do well for your imagination. I probably should’ve borrowed someone’s perfume or something.”

“Well then I would’ve thought that you were cheating with girls,” Santana replied. “That would’ve been even worse.” Both girls laughed a little. “Why didn’t you just take your own?”

“I do,” Brittany said. “It’s just sometimes I forget to bring it or I left it back at the studio so I just ask Mike for his cologne.”

“Just wondering, does Mike know about this plan?” Santana asked.

“Yeah, he actually does,” Brittany smiled. “He’s actually quite good at technology as well. While he never set foot in our house, he did tell me what brands to buy and how to set up some things, like the computer.”

“Oh right,” Santana nodded. “You mind if I ask another one?”

“Yeah, go ahead,” Brittany said.

“Why do you stay overnight sometimes?” Santana asked.

“I sometimes just pass out there because I’m too tired,” Brittany said with a small laugh. “Painting and setting up devices is surprisingly tiring.”

“I see,” Santana mumbled. “I’m really sorry, Brittany. For, you know, accusing you of cheating.”

“You’ve already apologised enough,” Brittany reprimanded. “No more sorries.”

“Okay, no more sorries,” Santana promised.

“Good,” Brittany smiled, and they walked on towards their apartment, swinging their hands.

XxX

There were a few days which Santana could recall upon and think ‘Yep, this was one of the best days of my life’. Santana wondered if this day would fall under this category in the future.

Santana’s emotions were so heightened she didn’t exactly know how she was feeling. It was definitely positive, however. Very positive.

She felt extreme happiness and felt an insane amount of love for the woman that was lying next to her naked in bed right now. She also felt relieved, as Brittany didn’t cheat on her after all and their marriage was now seemingly stronger than ever. They no longer had awkward silences; it was almost just like before. Santana also felt a little bit of guilt, but not so much anymore after all the ‘It’s okay’s and the ‘I love you’s that were whispered among all the muffled moans and erratic breathing that transpired a short moment ago.

Santana had not made love to Brittany in over a month. It was way too long and she had missed it so much. She didn’t think that she had many stronger orgasms than the one she just had. She felt like she just went to the moon and back.

The sex was slow yet intense at the same time. It was gentle yet passionate. The sight of Brittany, pink and naked underneath her, was just indescribable. The love she felt for this woman was just beyond words. The sight of Brittany coming undone, something that Santana had not seen in too long, was enough to send Santana spiralling into a second climax.

Santana didn’t want to stop there. They had missed out on too many sexy times. Brittany seemed to think so too. They had what seemed like an eternity of pure bliss, euphoria together, caressing and worshipping all parts of each other’s bodies, making one tremble under the other many times.

Sex felt a little bit like a sport, as both Santana and Brittany were panting in bed for minutes afterwards. Santana was exhausted. Normally she didn’t like the exhaustion that usually succeeds intense exercise, but with feeling and passion, getting intimate with Brittany is the best thing that could ever happen to Santana and the exhaustion is good exhaustion. She didn’t understand why she withheld sex with her wife for so long. Because Brittany did say after that she wanted it but was too scared to initiate. Maybe it was because Santana wasn’t in the mood, or she didn’t think that Brittany wanted to. Santana didn’t realise how unhappy she had been until Brittany pointed it out.

For some reason, Santana suddenly felt really emotional and started to cry.

“Hey,” Brittany whispered, scooting over and brushing some strands of hair away from Santana’s face. “Was the sex that bad?” Brittany asked, half joking.

“N-No,” Santana wheezed. “It was amazing. I love you, Britt.”

“I love you too,” Brittany replied with a warm smile. “But why are you crying?”

“I-I’m just so happy,” Santana sniffed. “You are so amazing. I really missed you, Britt.”

“I missed you too,” Brittany cooed and leaned in for a kiss.

The two girls kissed languidly for a few moments before they broke apart.

“You are so beautiful, Brittany,” Santana whispered, caressing the smooth skin on Brittany’s face, brushing away some tendrils of blonde hair that fell in front of her face. “I feel so lucky that I have you.”

Brittany’s face flushed and her smile turned bashful. “I feel incredibly lucky that you’re mine too,” Brittany whispered. “You make me feel so special, so smart.”

“I haven’t recently,” Santana mumbled, breaking eye contact with the blonde above her. “But I promise that I’ll be better, okay? I will sort out my own issues, I promise.”

“I love you just the way you are,” Brittany whispered, eyes a little hooded as she leaned down to capture Santana’s lips again.

About a minute later, they pulled apart slightly, still pressing their foreheads together.

“Can we cuddle tonight?” Santana asked with a small pout.

“Of course, my little Sanny bear,” Brittany beamed, pulling Santana even closer and closing her eyes contently. Santana took a deep inhale, basking in Brittany’s scent, and closed her eyes too, fully content for the first time in way too long.

Brittany was her home. And she was home at last.

XxX

Brittany breathed in the scent of Santana as she woke up. She sighed happily and scooted closer, still with her eyes closed, towards the direction of the smell, hoping to cuddle into Santana a bit more. That was when she felt that Santana wasn’t there. She slid her hand across the sheets, trying to get a feel of the brunette, and when her hand felt nothing, Brittany’s eyes opened.

Santana was not in the bed.

Brittany started to panic. Was what happened last night, one of the best nights of her life, all a dream? A fantasy? A figment of her imagination? Or did Santana just leave?

But Santana’s smell was still here. Brittany held up the pillow that was lying next to her. Santana had definitely slept here. Brittany felt around her and found that she was naked. So last night had definitely not been a dream.

Brittany’s heart started to fill with dread. Did Santana leave her? Again? Was it for good this time?

Swallowing down the bile that emerged in her throat, Brittany quickly grabbed the sweats that were thrown carelessly on the floor the day before and put them on. Briskly, she walked out of the door, praying to God that her wife was still in the house.

As soon as she walked out of the door however, a delicious smell invaded her nostrils. There was also a vague sizzling sound, and she heard a bit of humming. As she walked closer towards where the sound was coming from, she realised that the humming came from Santana. So Santana was still in the house. Brittany’s panic dissipated instantly and was replaced by curiosity.

Brittany walked into the kitchen and that was when she found Santana gleefully flipping pancakes at the stove and humming to a tune that Brittany did not recognise.

Santana seemed to sense Brittany’s presence, for she turned and greeted Brittany with a wide smile.

“Morning baby,” Santana beamed. “You want some pancakes? I made your favourite.”

“Ooh, yes please,” Brittany smiled. “I thought that you left me.”

“Oh,” Santana’s smile faltered. “I’m sorry, Britt. I just wanted to make you breakfast. Is that fine?”

“It’s perfect,” Brittany whispered, walking towards the brunette and hugging her from behind. She then noticed what was on Santana’s ring finger. “Your ring’s back,” she gasped.

“I should’ve never taken it off,” Santana pouted. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Brittany replied, smiling. “I’m so glad. Thank you for making breakfast for me.” she said softly to Santana’s ear, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek.

“It’s the least I can do,” Santana replied, grinning. “Go wait for me at the table, bumblebee. I’ll have this ready in a few minutes.”

Brittany turned Santana’s head briefly to plant another short kiss on her lips before bounding away happily.

A few minutes later, Brittany and Santana were sat opposite each other, pancakes in plates set in front of them. Brittany was having a little too much fun with the homemade syrup that Santana just made.

“You having pancakes with the syrup?” Santana teased, as Brittany gave up using a spoon and started to pour syrup straight onto the pancake from the container.

“Maybe,” Brittany blushed.

“Look, Brittany, I did quite a bit of thinking ever since you took me to the house,” Santana started. Brittany looked up curiously, and a little nervously, meeting Santana’s eyes. “And I’m thinking that we can start moving in? The spare room can be converted to a baby room, right? Because I’m kind of considering kids. That is if you want kids, of course. Don’t feel pressured at all if –” Santana’s rambling was cut off by a squeal from Brittany.

“Yes!” Brittany squeaked. “I would love us to start a family! God, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that!” Brittany got out of her chair quickly and bowled Santana over in a huge hug. “I’m so happy, Sanny!”

“I’m really glad,” Santana laughed. “I also have a little bit more, um, what I hope to be good news,” Santana continued.

Brittany pulled back a little and stared at Santana expectantly, eyes bright blue and scintillating.

“I’m quitting my job, Britt. I thought about what you said, and you were right. I want to give singing a shot, Brittany. I am handing in my resignation today.” Santana said, hoping that would evoke a positive reaction from the practically glowing woman in front of her.

“Ah!” Brittany squealed, hugging Santana tightly again. “I’m so proud of you! You won’t regret it, I promise!”

“Thank you, Brittany, for opening my eyes,” Santana said sincerely, breathing in the blonde’s scent. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sanny!” Brittany chirped, and they locked lips again with ardour.

Brittany had always been right. Santana was more than ready now to start the next chapter of her life with the one true love of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


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